All Your Base Are Belong To Us — The Kip Lange Homepage

I went completely apeshit buying incense online. Ever since Pier 1 has decided to cut back on it, I’ve been getting desperate.

So first I ordered a bunch of twenty-stick packs online. Okay. Good. That’ll hold me.

Then I light the nag champa and realize how much I love the stuff (an acquired taste, I suppose). So I go straight back to where I bought the original incense and order like 500 nag champa sticks. They arrived today looking like a brick.

If there’s ever a devastating circumstance that drags the word into the Dark Ages, rest assured, dear reader, that while governments fail and people resort to cannibalism — I will have some incense around to lighten the mood.

Two quick football notes. First, I cannot believe the Patriots, after dominating the Jets, let up and let them score 14 points on them. Second, I think that comeback by Eli Manning in the Giants game was phantasmagorically fantastic. I like Eli. I just don’t like him when he’s playing us or screwing with our schedule.

One last thing…my fantasy teams, which have not been doing well (DAMN YOU LARRY JOHNSON, DAMN YOU SHAUN ALEXANDER) face an interesting situation in one of my games this week. Seven players have a bye week. I had to juggle REALLY carefully to get that schedule back on track.

Ah well. That’s all for now.

A little while back, I said I finally “caved” and bought an expensive video card. Well, let me tell you right now, my nVidia GeForce 7800 was worth every penny.

It speeds ALL sorts of things up, it really does. You need the RAM for it — I’ve got 1.5 gig, which is just a bit over what it probably wants — but RAM is cheap.

The games, of course, are stunningly beautiful. Especially first or third-person shooters. The ambiance in F.E.AR., for instance, is unbelievable.

So, anyway, it’s worth it. All my tightwad tactics came to nothing. It’s also really easy to install — just goes right in your AGP port where your old card (assuming you weren’t an idiot and bought a computer with a PCI video card) went. The only slight hold up is that you need to free up a power cable (they fit into the ends of hard drives, those thinga) and power up the card mostly because of the internal fan it uses to cool down when it’s processing memory-hungry applications.

Ah well, that’s all. 🙂

That’s all that needs to be said. Sort of.

Miami 0-2, everyone was sure they’d win the division, or tie with New England.

Patriots 2-0 and put on quite a show today, especially with their new dual-back offense.

I’m not a gambling man, but I’ll take the Pats winning the division easily.

I feel football is more important than 9/11 candlelight vigils. So sue me.

Okay. So now us Patriots fans know something important: Laurence Maroney is the real deal. The kid can dance all over the place. We also know Gostkowski can kick a field goal. So we’re solid on that.

So why did we look so crappy for so long against the Bills and barely eke out a victory?

I don’t know. Some are saying Brady is looking for a Branch and can’t find one (since Deion’s hidden somewhere deep within the fires of Mount Doom insisting he get a Ring of Power if he’s going to show up).

There’s no doubt in my mind Brady forced a few throws, and his interception wasn’t fun to look at. Nor was the first play of the game, the fumble return by the Bills.

Okay. Here’s what I think. I think our offensive line didn’t get it together until sometime in the 3rd quarter. I think our defense once again went out there and won the day with that safety. After all, that’s the two points we won by.

That’s all I’m going to say. The rest should be obvious. Okay. I’ll say it. We need to get the offense in sync, especially our passing game and our offensive line. Our running game is looking good, but that ain’t all there is to football.

All in all, I suffered four or five heart attacks during the game, and have had to seek medical attention.

Okay, this is all the information I have. As of today, September 03, there are no roster updates available online from EA to download. You can scour the net and find some people who have noted all the roster changes so far and can guide you to manually editing them. I don’t think it’s worth it, myself, because I am betting that a roster update will be released by EA somewhere very near the September 7th opening game. That’s my two cents. They won’t want to release a roster update until the roster is finalized. I also believe I remember this was the way it was done last year.

Which is a shame, because I’d like to get my new Pats kicker and Junior Seau into the mix automatically (as well as playing other teams with correct rosters). But there will be an update out, don’t worry.

And for XBox/XBox 360 users, as far as I can tell, the rumor that you will have to pay for updates is totally wrong. I highly doubt they’re going to give them to us PS2 fans for free and turn around and charge you.

Ah, Madden time. When all of us gaming geeks leap onto the new Madden — even though usually (and in this case) the only real change is the rosters. But we don’t care. We buy it anyway.

This is probably the last Madden we’re ever going to see on current-gen systems, and to that I say: Good. Because Madden 2007 has some serious problems that I attribute to too much going on inside my PS2s limited computing capacity.

Here’s the deal: in a game, the damn thing will freeze up or skip a hell of a lot, usually when trying to read multiple tracks (multiple audio and video). This is really annoying.

When I first started, it was freezing so badly that I had to whack the top of the PS2 to get the DVD moving a little so the laser could pick it up. After that, I got fed up, thought my PS2 was all gunky again (it was), took it apart and cleaned the laser (I’ve written about this before — if you want to do this, it works, but it voids most warranties and you should really only do it if you know what you’re doing and/or you’re comfortable with electronics).

This worked, meaning, it got rid of the really bad freezes, but it still skips and freezes a little bit. I went searching on the web for people having similar problems and I came across a WHOLE lot of XBox/XBox 360 owners who said that not only was their copy of Madden freezing on them but it also somehow seemed to screw the machine up and make other games freeze. I don’t really know if I believe that, but anything’s possible.

Anyway, I just want to alert Madden fans that this year’s copy of Madden is a little frustrating to play because of the little glitches. But it’s still worth it, I have to say.

Okay. You’ve probably heard this story: after fourteen years, Paramount has decided to sever all ties with Tom Cruise, citing his insane behavior off the set. Including, of course, his famous never-retracted bashing of Brooke Shields for taking anti-depressants (Scientology, Cruise’s religion, doesn’t let you take an aspirin).

In addition, some feel that the traditional “star power” in Hollywood may be waning a bit, which also warms the cockles of my heart.

But here’s the real kicker. Right after dumping Cruise, Paramount turned to “South Park” creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker, who were involved in a rumble with Cruise and Scientology, and inked them to a two-picture (live action) movie deal.

They’re not writing either movie, however, from what I’ve read. Parker will direct and Stone will produce.

The names of the two movies are My All-American, a comedy based around a high school, and Giant Monsters Attack Japan! which will use some good ol’ “rubber suit” special effects.

Ahh, sometimes life is good.

Ah, the Internet. Home to so many deranged whackos and people who can’t spell anything except “lol” correctly.

I made a mistake, man oh man, did I make a mistake. I was posting for a while on a very obscure board discussing…well, I can’t tell you what, because the troll I’m seeking peace from might pop up on here and spam me with endless comments.

Let’s just say the board was about widgets. And that I like widgets, and another fellow came along who didn’t like widgets. The trolling began. The troll posted inflammatory messages about anybody who liked widgets that made no sense, with grammar so bad they actually singed my eyebrows.

I posted a warning message about the troll, just so other people wouldn’t get drawn into fights with him. Next thing I know, I no longer really feel like posting at the board, because four people (who are probably all fifteen years old) bashed the ever-loving shit out of me.

Perhaps my favorite rant against me was that I had expressed support for the second amendment in a particular post, and how stupid was I to not think that people from all over the world were watching this tiny board? How dare I mention something from the evil American Constitution? The poster then went on to tell me I didn’t respect the first amendment, which, of course, he had already made moot by saying we can’t talk about amendments because we’re in a global village and…

Oh man. I just had to get it off my chest. There were three or four other legit posters on that board out of a grand total of maybe nine, and they were interesting folk, but I just can’t deal with threads that are interrupted by people who spell “courageous” as “courages”. Hehehe.

Anyway…I should know the hell to stay away from most boards…I have been online for a few decades now.

I got made out to be a chump, though, and it wasn’t pretty, and any post I make on there will just be fuel to pillory me.

Nah, this guy wasn’t trolling.

😉

First, in random news, I have reconnected the alternate Kip Lange (I wonder if he has a goatee) with his friends in Germany, so I feel good about that.

Now onto more important stuff. NS and I have registered two leagues at NFL.com and joined a third league, which is actually quite hard to do, considering there is the most unbelievable amount of niche-ness to these leagues (“This league only for firefighters missing a testicle!”).

Anyway, it’s done. We have live drafts on the 27th, the 5th, and the 6th. Hopefully I won’t have to pee incredibly bad during them like I did last year.

Now, I could reveal my ultra-secret draft plans, but then they damn well wouldn’t be ultra-secret, would they?

Anyway, I’m just looking to make it — not win, necessarily — to the championship game in one league, like I did last year (and then got vigorously spanked by my opponent).

First game of the season is on the 7th. And the Lord said, let the faggy soccer people go away, and let there be football, and let the Raiders fans be rowdy, and let us forget about the Denver-Patriots playoff game from last year and yea, it was good.

I recently received a comment that I’m not posting because it contains the sender’s email. They’re looking for a different Kip Lange than me. If you are the other Kip Lange (scary, there’s more than one of us), then I received this message for you:

Hi Kip,

If you are the Kip Lange who stayed in Cologne at family Nehl about ten years ago, please let us know via e-mail so that we can send an e-mail to you.

So, if you’re the other Kip Lange the email mentions, post a reply and I’ll give you their email address in a safe, non-spiderable form, so you and they won’t get spam from it. In fact, since I moderat all comments, you can leave your email address in a reply to this post, as the above people did for another post, and it will not get published, I swear to you, and I’ll mail you with the address of these friendly folks who are looking for you.

By the way, Lord knows I wished I had stayed at Cologne at some point in my life.