All Your Base Are Belong To Us — The Kip Lange Homepage

A while ago, I posted some vague instructions on how to get rid of the awful malware “Trojan.Downloader.Small.CML”. In it, I suggested using Spyware Doctor because I thought it gave you a free month. It doesn’t. What it does do is so horrible and annoying I’m going to break protocol. What it does is show you all the malware your computer is infected with and then give you an option to buy Spyware Doctor. Fuck them. That’s seriously kicking a computer user when he’s down and trying to extort money from them.

Because of this, I’m going to do something I shouldn’t do. But it will help save you from that piece of malware and some others. I’m going to give you a license key that the people at Spyware Doctor know about. In other words, you can use this key once, for one version of Spyware Doctor. If you try to update your malware definitions, it will invalidate your key. If you try to update anything, it will invalidate your key. Therefore I suggest you use this key once and only once if you’re in a tight squeeze and you have no malware protection.

So, here’s the key for Spyware Doctor 3.8. I am never giving out a key again, so please don’t yell at me and tell me I’m a horrible pirate. People desperately need a way to fix malware issues sometimes, and I’m going to give it to them. Remember, this key is no good for the long-term, and that’s why I’m giving it out. You’re either going to have to buy it or find a good crack or key (and in searching for that you’ll surely pick up malware, ironically).

Here it is. Thank me or curse me later.

Username: teow wak lee
Serial Number: AF17-D6AF-125F-D10C-989A-2751-F13A-F976-34EF-FF02

Now, go back and follow my vague instructions. They should work. And kudos to Ewido for actually giving you fourteen free days, by the way.

Since I posted about WinMX a while back, I ought to explain what it is. It is a large peer-to-peer file-sharing program. In September of 2005 it was served with a cease & desist order, backed by the RIAA. Fuckers. Anyway, the WinMX community fought back and managed to restore the system to a functioning (and large-based) status within a short amount of time. Instead of looking to WinMX’s website for a server to hook into, it now looks at an altered Windows hosts file to see where it should connect.

Anyway, should you wish to get the P.I.E. patch, which restores WinMX functionality, along with the original program itself, go over to MXPie.com. It’s all available there.

Ah, my bad. Remember me bitching slightly that Firefox came with a slightly annoying BBC-news “Latest Headlines” link? It’s actually a demonstration of something really keen which Firefox has integrated, namely, it can handle RSS feeds. Also know as “newsreader” feeds. In other words, you don’t need a newsreader (for most of these feeds). Example — go to CNN with Firefox. You’ll see an orange icon in the top right of the Address bar. Right click it or drag it onto your toolbar and shazzam, you’ve got a “Live Bookmark” — essentially an RSS/atom (newsread feed formats) menu. It’s really fun. You can even do it with my blog — look in the right hand corner right now. The icon should be there, because Blogger maintains an atom version of my blog automatically.

Kinda cool. Somewhat useless, I suppose, but still — kinda cool.

Ahhh, here we go. Here’s the fix for the problem I described below, should any of you run into it. It’s probably your firewall — no, you weren’t dumb enough to leave it on. Check your control panel. Access the Firewall. It may say it can’t open due to an unspecified problem. That’s a dead giveaway. Even if it opens, try this anyway. You need to install a reg file called “sharedaccess.reg”.
After you merge it into your registry, reboot the computer. After reboot, go to the Start Menu->Run. Type “netsh firewall reset”, without the quotes. Wait for it to finish. Then go back to the Firewall control panel and turn it off.

Should work now!

Right. I wonder if anyone out there can help me. Please! I installed the new hosts file patch for WinMX, the popular peer-to-peer program — the patch is PIE, or P.I.E. 3.2 — and I fired up WinMX. Primary connections now no longer have any secondaries, so I get barely anything when I search for files. My uploads seem to time out on both a primary and secondary connection. I’ve changed the TCP/UDP ports all over the place and I can’t get anything to work (I know Comcast does throttle some of those ports so I changed them to recommended ones and zippo). The big thing is I can’t get a primary connection to work. It barely lists any files. I can log in with a secondary connection and it works just fine, but people still can’t upload from me, it seems, and secondary connections are slow. I don’t want to leech, either, I hate leechers. Anyway, if anyone has any bright idea — and just to let you know, I’ve done a manual install of the patch, I’ve flushed the DNS cache, I’ve uninstalled and reinstalled WinMX, I’ve turned Norton AV off during the patch install — everything. I can connect as a primary, but it just doesn’t work right.

Anybody? Anybody? Bueller? Bueller? 🙂

Okay, folks. This one will send my hits through the roof again. I haven’t been paying attention, but FHM has posted the Kari Byron photo shoot along with a link to the video that I linked to before. The shoot is entitled “Extreme Science Class”.

I have to admit, I think Ms. Byron (by the way, guys, she’s taken) looks much cuter than she does in these pictures. For some reason — don’t ask me — these pictures are very unflattering to her face (her nose, in particular, I don’t know if I’m just being crazy) while being very flattering to her bust (oh, what wonders a push-up bra can work). I mean, she still looks great, but I defy you to tell me that this — unfortunately somewhat-tame — photoshoot makes her look good as she does when she’s lounging around in jeans and her hair is all scraggly on Mythbusters.

Oh well. The link, again, is: http://www.fhmus.com/articles-1276.asp

Well, the time has come. I’m giving up Internet Explorer for Firefox. To be fair, I started out as a die-hard Netscape man (Firefox is the next step in the evolution of Netscape). Then I finally switched over to Internet Explorer because so much of the web seemed formatted for it. Netscape simply got edged out. I tried going back to…I believe it was Netscape 7…an open-source (as is Firefox) project, an attempt to make Mozilla (the code that Netscape is based on and also a very old browser) an IE-killer. Well, it didn’t work. The thing had too many bells and whistles attached. It sucked, quite frankly, and barely ever displayed web pages correctly.

But they’ve gotten it (almost) right with Firefox. Firefox is now stripped down, with barely any bells and whistles installed at the beginning except a somewhat annoying “Latest Headlines” menu which you can get rid of. It’s customizable, highly so. You can download extensions and skins (a skin, as the name suggests, alters the superficial way Firefox looks — you can make it themed pink, for instance, if you want), but you can also just use it as it is. It allows “tabbed” browsing, an interesting way to organize your open browser windows into one window, although it’s a lot more useful in theory than in practice. And for me, someone who has set their resolution to 1280 by 1024, it’s much more obliging in terms of quickly resizing text from websites that don’t respond to my call for 120 dpi display. Text that remains static in Internet Explorer is malleable with Firefox. Firefox also automatically updates itself — a nice open-source advantage that Internet Explorer doesn’t have.

The main reason to update to Firefox, though, is that it’s much much MUCH less prone to browser hijacks and spyware attacks. If you’re like me, and you surf the seamy underbelly of the internet a fair amount — I’m not talking pornography here, I’m talking serial numbers for shareware programs you want to use in full mode — then Firefox is for you. Even if you’re straight-laced about your internet usage, you should be aware that a lot of times you can get shunted off the straight and narrow and end up in a dark alley that hijacks your desktop and leaves you with eight hours of hard work to get it off — if you can get it off (I’ve been lucky — and smart, yes — so far).

So finally when Firefox asked me if I wanted it to be my default browser — I said yes. Yes I do, Firefox.

You can download Firefox at http://www.getfirefox.com.

Okay. I got this nasty while surfing less-than-reputable websites. It’s horrible. It downloads other malware onto your system until you’re swamped with it. Your desktop gets fubared, your toolbars get fubared…

Anyway, I can’t step-by-step walk you through getting rid of this thing, but I can at least tell you how I managed to luck into getting rid of it. First, after you’ve got the programs I’m about to mention installed, disconnect from the internet immediately and by that I mean pull the plug on your modem if you’re using cable or DSL. You might also want to pull your plug if you’re using a regular modem, since the thing downloads dialers.

Here’s what I used (just do a search on them, I’m too tired to post links right now): Ewido Suite (free for 14 days), Spyware Doctor (free trial month), Norton Antivirus (not free but possibly not necessary). That’s all. I booted into safe mode. I ran Ewido. When you run Ewido, for time’s sake (because it takes a loooong time to do a full Ewido Scan), just choose “Perform this action every time” when you fix your first virus. When you’re done with that, run Norton. Then run Spyware Doctor. Hopefully it’ll show Trojan.Downloader.Small.CML with *14* registry entries instead of 17. Delete them all. Reboot. Spyware Doctor should run on reboot (into normal mode) and HOPEFULLY when you delete Trojan.Download.Small.CML it will NOT say it needs to reboot. If it does, try one more time.

This is the best advice I can give you. The second best advice I can give you is to download HijackThis, scan your system and save a log file, and post it to one of the many open geek forums where someone more kindly and knowledgeable than I will walk you through deleting this thing.

Good luck, too, if you have it. It’s one of the nastier things I’ve picked up, ever.

Ah well. I gave up on fighting it finally and got myself The Sims 2, and I have to say I’m pretty amazed by this puppy. Of course, it once again illustrates my grave need for a much better video card (but how the hell can you buy a top-end graphics card and not say to yourself, “But I could have bought an XBox 360 for this price!” — and I’m no XBox fan).

It’s everything an original Sims lover would want in a sequel. Tons of expansion packs available that truly allow for new gameplay, instead of just adding new objects (which they also do). Much better graphics. New things to worry about — fears, aspirations. A fully 3D environment that lets you zoom way the hell in or way the hell out, a free roving camera that you can move around exactly the way you want…and so on.

I have to say that I can easily see why it’s the number one videogame out there (across all platforms, I believe). So, for my two cents, I’d recommend getting it. And the expansion packs — as you get progressively bored with the same-old-same-old.

It really is eye candy, though, I must say.

Right. Microsoft has released a new program in Windows Update, the Windows Genuine Advantage tool. All it does, basically, is nag the hell out of you if it thinks you’re running a pirated version of Windows XP. This can happen if it fails to recognize your XP install, if it just screws up, or if you’re honestly using a cracked Windows XP.

First tip: Don’t download the thing. Leave it unselected forever. Even genuine Windows XP installs can fail the test, and then you’re stuck with calling Microsoft.

Second tip: Since it failed on a LEGITIMATE second copy of XP that I have running on a lesser computer, you may be interested to know that there are workarounds to the whole nag thing posted here and many other places (just google it).

Like MSFT doesn’t have enough money, they need to annoy us more. And remember, even if you use step 2 and remove it, it’ll try to download itself again, so make sure it’s unchecked when you download updates.