All Your Base Are Belong To Us — The Kip Lange Homepage

Yeah, I gotta say, I’m sad about this one. Anyone who’s looking to try to get their hands on a PS3 (egad, remember how horrible it was tyring to get a PS2 when they first came out?) is going to miss something — the force-feedback “rumble” feature on the new “Boomerang” controller.

Yep. It’s gone. Apparently Sony wouldn’t settle with a company that they had lifted some of the rumble tech from. The new controller does features this Wii-like motion sensor, meaning if you physically move the controller around in certain games, it will affect the gameplay. Sony is counting on this to placate force-feedback starved folks. I won’t be able to comment until I use one. The control, for instance, could be tilted in your hands in a certain way to give you a level of control you haven’t seen before — for instance, tilt the controller a bit to get spin on your ball in Tiger Woods PGA.

Sounds neat, but I’m going to miss the rumble. Although, you know, they could always bring it back somehow. I’m sure the PS3 hardware could transmit data to a fresh, newly-designed force-feedback controller from Sony a couple of years down the line.

For now, though, it’s the one thing I think I’m going to miss most. The Playstation 3 really looks as if it’s going to be an awesome machine (and for God’s sake, I know it’s expensive, but save your money now and buy the premium 60 gig HD version — and get yourself a service warranty, Sony is rushing these things to market, and that means flaws). Sony, as I said, is counting on us not missing the ol’ Dual Shock kickback when you fire off a few rounds in Resident Evil. I think they’re wrong about that, but I’ll live. Adjust and adapt, all that.

Jagshemash!

I love Borat. I say enough? Iz nice.

Borat have SpaceMy account. Iz nice. You look?

Not forget Borat movie, many yak approve.

1. The Patriots may have beaten the Bills, but I’m not getting warm and fuzzy feelings about them yet. They have a hell of a lot work to do to improve if they hope to advance anywhere in the playoffs (I’m assuming they’ll make the playoffs, come on, what AFC East team is threatening them right now?)

2. I guess it’s Fall coming on, but I’m getting more depressed lately. Although the older one gets, the less one likes to show that, which sort of makes it worse and cyclical. Who really cares, eh? Situational depression is no cause for happy pills from your doctor. We’re the most overprescribed people in history. Kid acting up? Oh, he must have ADHD, give him some pills. It couldn’t possibly normal for a young kid to be rambunctious, over the top, and a troublemaker. Certainly this isn’t something a parent should try to fix by raising them better, right?

3. I blog too infrequently and I blog too blandly for fear of eventually landing a big cushy job and having someone at the company run a search on me and turn up my actual feelings about things. Need to balance that out, somehow.

4. Just to increase my hits: “Kari Byron naked.” Although there are plenty of legit Kari Byron links in this blog.

5. What is the deal with me and incense? I have some sort of incredibly odd existential connection with it. I barely spend my money (video games and incense), yet here I am, lighting incense like mad. I keep two sticks of Nag Champa burning while I go to sleep. What the hell is wrong with me?

6. At age 31, women still scare the ever-loving crap out of me. I literally turn into a statue when an attractive woman walks by. This does not bode well for the possible continuance of my genes. Which sucks, because I’m not too sure in God, which leaves the biological imperative as my cause celebre, and I’m failing in that.

7. Lucky number seven — I’ll end on that.

I’m a little behind the curve on this one — I actually didn’t realize this until three days ago when the excellent webmaster over at South Park Studios brought it to my attention — but the tenth season of South Park resumed last Wednesday night with the hilarious airing of “Make Love, Not Warcraft” (a must-see for RPGers).

If you’d like to catch a re-run of it, check out the Comedy Central South Park schedule over here.

The next episode, “The Mystery of the Urinal Deuce”, whose name suggests great and wonderful things, airs at 10 PM this Wednesday, October 11th.

10 years and South Park is still going strong. Hats off, I say.

Okay. Far be it from me to not give credit where credit is due. Miami did a pretty damn good job going after the Patriots, which doesn’t make me think Miami is a juggernaut, but on the other hand, they came back against a 13 point lead to get damn close to winning the game, enough for my pulse rate to go up and me start worrying.

What is with the Pats, anyway? Out of all the teams in the NFL, I see the Patriots the most as one of those teams where you don’t know which particular team is going to show up on the field — the former Superbowl champs, or the former Superbowl *chumps*, you know?

Playcalling hasn’t been amazing, either.

Yeah, I said it. Fuck the Dolphins. I got so sick of the pre-season hype that had them winning the Superbowl with Daunte Culpepper, of all people, who had possibly the worst season ever recorded by any human being playing sports last season. Culpepper may not even play, they may go with Harrington, and that’s fine with me, too, because he also sucks.

The betting line in Vegas has New England as ten point favorites — just recently pushed up from 9 1/2, if you’re bored and you check these things often like me.

The only disappointment for me is that I have Ronnie Brown on a fantasy team, but I’ll take a real-life shut-out of the Dolphins over a few fantasy points any day.

They will lose, mark my words.

Well, there we go! Another one bites the dust! The eminent Mr. Shah has proposed to the love of his life, Heidi, and ceremonies are due to commence next October. To all the friends of Mr. Shah, and to Mr. Shah himself, huzzah! I was wondering how long it would take you!

The few remaining members of the herd of bachelors — I invite you to a private session where we will, without threat of female reprisal, while we still can, pass gas (or make fart noises with our hands), tell crude and sexist jokes, eat legions of Hostess cupcakes dipped in beer, watch football, and generally deride married life until we skulk home to empty beds and suffer another night of existential anguish.

Aw, hell, it ain’t THAT bad.

Seriously: CONGRATULATIONS TO NIGAM SHAH AND HEIDI MATTHEWS!

I still get to be Supreme Galactic Overlord, though, that’s in all the contracts.

Okay. So we didn’t have any sort of massive implosion again with the Pats this week. This is welcome news. Running backs are actually running, and the Pats seem to have realized they should focus a little bit more on the running game. The defense played very well, and the team as a whole didn’t have that terrible soggy feeling they did last week.

Yeah, I’m a fair weather fan. Sorry. I still split my loyalties between the Patriots and the Raiders, although this year there certainly isn’t much of a decision involved in who to root for.

Strange Goings On have been reported to me from Named Sources, yet I cannot confirm or deny any allegations until I figure out what the hell is going on. This has nothing to do with sports, by the way. Well, I suppose it does. Everything has something to do with sports. Football in particular.

Oh, and big NYAH to the gambling community who had Cincinnati as 5 1/2 point favorites over the Patriots. We covered the spread on THAT one, ya wankers.

Yes. Listen carefully. Do you hear it? The wails of anguish and pain?

Those are people like me. People who had fantasy football teams that had high draft picks.

People who used that high draft pick to draft Shaun Alexander.

People who have now found out Shaun Alexander has succumbed to the Madden Curse and suffered a broken foot.

Oh, the humanity.

Okay. Let’s clear things up and call a spade a spade. The Patriots stunk against the Broncos. Why did they stink? I have no idea. They came out as flat as I’ve seen them come out in seven years and they never got any better. The offense, at least. The defense had a little fire, but not much. The offense hung their heads, shrugged onto the field, and played with no intensity or emotion. Brady’s stats may look good tomorrow, but he lead the charge of flatness — shrugged shoulders, passes so bad local pundits are speculating he might be injured, and zero passion. When a quarterback is that flat, it’s hard for an offense to rally around him. Never mind our rookie kicker’s missed kick. You want someone to make you feel bummed out in that game? Just watch Brady’s body language.

This was simply horrid. I’m a Patriots fan, but I’ll say it: the Broncos deserved that win, and guess what, they deserved to win even bigger, because on that side of the ball, players were playing with intensity. Tatum Bell alone had more testosterone in his veins than our entire offense.

What a sorry excuse for a game. The Pats better shape up, or they’re not making the playoffs, and nobody’s going to shed many tears over it, either.