All Your Base Are Belong To Us — The Kip Lange Homepage

Okay. I spent all day trying to upgrade the old iPhone to the new 2.0 firmware. Now…I uninstalled iTunes, reinstalled iTunes, it didn’t make any difference. So here’s a handy tip to save you time.

Unplug ALL USB devices except your iPhone. If you have a computer with a USB port in the front, use a USB port in the back.

As soon as I did this I was able to upgrade immediately.

Hope this helps.

After the debacle with the 2.40 firmware, Sony is it at it again, and has released one of the more significant firmware updates for the PS3 to date. This is one of the ones you’ve been waiting for, as it features the long-promised in-game XMB (Cross-Media Bar).

Happy gaming!

Surprisingly, in the continuing competition between the old man and the rockstar, the old man is doing pretty damn well.

Rasmussen polls out today report that the race is all tied up at 43% apiece for the candidates, 46% with “leaners” included. This comes after about two months or so of Obama leading by around five points or so.

Perhaps there’s hope for thoes of us in the GOP, after all. Now, if we could just get McCain to shut the hell up about the global warming bullshit…

Sorry for this, folks, but another Kip Lange has taken the top spot on Google searches when you plug in “Kip Lange”. So I’m going to have to do a little bit of a sleazy post here to try to get my page ranking back up.

Kip Lange, Kip Lange, and more Kip Lange. Kip Lange is not Kip Lang but is often misten for Kip Lang and that’s okay because the damn E is silent in the name.

Kip Lange naked, Kip Lange politics, Kip Lange news, Kip Lange biography, Kip Lange philosophy, Kip Lange pornography, Kip Lange sex, Kip Lange drugs, Kip Lange rock and roll.

Nearer my Kip Lange to thee; Kip Lange in California, Kip Lange in Wellesley, Mass., Kip Lange in his momma’s basement, sitting on Kip Lange’s ass.

I’m the real Kip Lange yes I’m the real Kip Lange will all the other Kip Langes please shut up and will the real Kip Lange please stand up, please stand up.

Yes indeedy, I am the Kip Lange of all Kip Langes and I don’t like being knocked down a peg by another, grey-haired Kip Lange who does real estate. In fact, it annoys Mr. Kip Lange very mch that he’s not the first Kip Lange you see when you Google “Kip Lange”.

Okay, okay, Kip Lange will let up here and let you get back to business.

I told you. Kip Lange is shameless, Kip Lange wants hits, and Kip Lange wants to be the pre-eminent Kip Lange and the first Kip Lange you run into when you’re searching for Kip Lange. Or Kip Lang. Or Christopher Lange.

Shameless. Kip Lange knows this bbt Kip Lange can’t help but grin his Kip Lange grin as he writes this shameless plug for Kip Lange, Kip Lang, or whatever you’d like to call Kip Lange.

Okay. Kip Lange is done (and done with speaking in the third person about Kip Lange).

Sorry for wasting your time butI I really want that #1 ranking for “Kip Lange” on Google. Send forth the spiders!

Well, the launch wasn’t perfect, but the iPhone 3G is now on the market — and in my hands.

That’s right. I spent seven hours in line yesterday at the Chestnut Hill Mall to get the iPhone. I showed up at 8 AM; stupid me.

Part of the reason the lines are so long is because Apple is pretty much dead set on forcing you to activat the phone in the store. The official line is that people had been having problems doing it at home last time around; the unofficial, and real reason,is that they want to make sure that people don’t take the iPhone home and jailbreak it.

In fact, barely hours after the launch, the new iPhone 3G software had already been cracked and jailbreaking was a possibility.

Certainly didn’t take long, did it?

The new iPhone has a slighter slimmer physique and feels a bit better in the hand than the old one. Aside from that, it runs much faster, it has GPS capabilities, and pretty much everything on it has been made even simpler and more effective. I haven’t had a lot of time to play with it; those seven hours in line wore me out pretty bad (and had I know it would take seven hours, no, I would not have waited in line for it yesterday.

But my initial take? Worth it, and definitely worth it at the new cheaper price(s) — $200 for the 8 gig model, $300 for the 16 gig model.

Another good guy bites the wax tadpole. This morning, Tony Snow, former White House Press Secretary and FOX News fixture, lost his battle with colon cancer.

Snow had been diagnosed with cancer in 2005. He was 53 years olds, and, from all accounts, a very decent man. He will be missed.

Well, there you have it. We now know how Jesse Jackson feels about Barack Obama. He’d like to “cut his nuts” off.

The remark was made while Jackson was wired for sound for an interview on Fox. Why on Earth Jackson didn’t realize his mic would pick up his whisper is beyond me.

You know what my take on this is? It’s refreshing. It’s refreshing to actually hear what people think when they don’t think they’re being monitored. Like Bush’s “major league asshole” remark regarding Clymer from way back when.

Now, I can only begin to speculate what’s behind Jesse’s outburst. Apparently there’s worse stuff on the tape, but they’re not running it. I don’t really know if I buy that or not, but I do buy that on some level, whatever he now says to the contrary, Jackson would indeed like to cut Obama’s nuts off.

So let me begin to speculate. First, the issue that set it off is Obama’s recent move to support Bush’s faith-based initiatives programs. Jackson predicated the nut-chopping remark by saying that “Barack has been talking down to black people.” Now, I really don’t think that’s fair, myself. I haven’t seen any indications of Obama “talking down” to black people. But by supporting faith-based initiatives, he is talking down to Jesse Jackson. More faith-based iniatives leaves less and less of the spotlight for Jesse and Rainbow/PUSH.

Also, I think plain jealousy is at work here. Jackson wishes he could be the dynamic, one might say “legitimate”, black man running for the White House. He’s certainly tried (much to Bill Clinton’s amusement, apparently, recalling past gaffes on the campaign trail).

If there’s anything positive conservatives can take away from an Obama win in November, it would be that finally, fringe/whacko black “leaders” (read: extortion artists) like Jackson would finally be marginalized. They would have less to whip crows into frothing furies over. They’d have less spotlight.

But, folks, let’s admit it — this story, whether it has legs or not, is just plain fun for a lot of us.

And, for the record, although I disagree with Obama on many, many things, I do not want to chop his nuts off. Mr. Obama may keep his nuts.

Maybe that’s it. Maybe Jackson is just envious of Obama’s huge balls and wants to try to graft them on himself?

It’s not here! It’s here! It’s false patriotism! It’s real patriotism! I support gun control! I don’t support gun control! I support doubling the cap gains tax! I don’t support doubling the cap gains tax!

And, of course, the false patriotism that I, Barack Obama, so derided to my liberal base as the basis for all those flag lapel pins — well, now I’m wearing one, too!

Never in my life have I seen someone flip-flop so violently and so quickly. I don’t even know if Obama knows what he stands for anymore. We do have his voting record, though — the most liberal in the Senate. Which should give you a clue where his true sympathies lie, my fellow “bitter” Americans (but whatever you do, sayeth Obama, don’t cling to your wallet when it comes to giving me money).

So now Obama tries to take the center, flip on the last issue — Iraq (mark my words, it’s coming, he will flip on his Iraq position after his visit there) — and then it’s a contest between the young, hip Obama and…that old guy over there.

Never mind that the old guy has more experience in his little finger that Obama has in a lifetime of wheeling and deal-cutting with the likes of Jeremiah Wright. Never mind that. He’s hip. It’s hip to like Obama. And we, as Americans, as the idiots we are, have a duty to elect people because we think they’re “hip”.

After all, the youth of America supports Obama overwhelmingly, and as we all know, kids are always right about this kind of stuff, aren’t they?

Charles Krauthammer has a great article out this week which ends by stating that the Clintons will look “scrupulous” next to Obama’s sudden hard-changing ways.

And yes, it has begun, and the media has barely even picked it up. Opting out of public financing. Flip-flop on gun control (what happened to all those bitter people clinging to their guns?), and of course, another huge flip-flop on NAFTA, which was iminently predictable.

Okay, so you say he has to move to the center to capture centrist voters. Okay. I’ll buy that. But you have to admit, Obama has changed a lot more of his promises in this campaign than McCain has. What does that say about his word as an American leader during, whether Obama likes it or not (but he’s still “evolving” on this issue, too), wartime?

It’s just politics as usual. Anyone who’s bought into the cult of Obama ought to be ashamed of themselves. The man doesn’t offer “true change” any more than McCain or any other single candidate throughout all the primaries has offered “true change”. It may be hard for Obama fans to accept, but at the bottom line, Obama is a politician.

Right now he’s a liberal one who’d like to move more to the right so he can capture whatever phantom undecided vote is still out there.

George Carlin died today of heart failure at age 71.

In honor of the great man, here is the famous “Seven Dirty Words” routine posted for your enjoyment.

“I love words. I thank you for hearing my words. I want to tell you something about words that I uh, I think is important. I love..as I say, they’re my work, they’re my play, they’re my passion. Words are all we have really.

We have thoughts, but thoughts are fluid. You know, [humming]. And, then we assign a word to a thought, [clicks tongue]. And we’re stuck with that word for that thought. So be careful with words. I like to think, yeah, the same words that hurt can heal. It’s a matter of how you pick them.

There are some people that aren’t into all the words. There are some people who would have you not use certain words. Yeah, there are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven of them that you can’t say on television. What a ratio that is. 399,993 to seven. They must really be bad. They’d have to be outrageous, to be separated from a group that large. All of you over here, you seven. Bad words. That’s what they told us they were, remember? ‘That’s a bad word.’ ‘Awwww.’ There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad Intentions.

And words, you know the seven don’t you? Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits, huh? Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that will infect your soul, curve your spine and keep the country from winning the war.

Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits, wow. Tits doesn’t even belong on the list, you know. It’s such a friendly sounding word. It sounds like a nickname. ‘Hey, Tits, come here. Tits, meet Toots, Toots, Tits, Tits, Toots.’ It sounds like a snack doesn’t it? Yes, I know, it is, right. But I don’t mean the sexist snack, I mean, New Nabisco Tits. The new Cheese Tits, and Corn Tits and Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits Onion Tits, Tater Tits, Yeah. Betcha can’t eat just one. That’s true I usually switch off . But I mean that word does not belong on the list.

Actually, none of the words belong on the list, but you can understand why some of them are there. I am not completely insensitive to people’s feelings. You know, I can dig why some of those words got on the list…like cocksucker and motherfucker. Those are…those are heavy-weight words. There’s a lot going on there, man. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling. They’re just busy words. There’s a lot of syllables to contend with. And those K’s. Those are aggressive sounds, they jump out at you. CocksuckerMotherfuckerCocksucker. It’s like an assault, on you. So I can dig that.

And we mentioned shit earlier, of course. Two of the other 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go together of course. But forget about that. A little accidental humor there. Piss and Cunt. The reason Piss and Cunt are on the list is that a long time ago certain ladies said ‘Those are the two I am not going to say. I don’t mind Fuck and Shit, but P and C are out. P and C are out.’ Which led to such stupid sentences as ‘OK, you fuckers, I am going to tinkle now.’

And of course the word Fuck. The word Fuck, I don’t really…well, this is some more accidental humor, but I don’t really want to get into that now. Because I think it takes too long. But I do mean that. I mean, I think the word fuck is an important word. It’s the beginning of life, and, yet it’s a word we use to hurt one other, quite often. And uh, people much wiser than I have said, I’d rather have my son watch a film with two people making love than two people trying to kill one other. And I of course agree. I wish I know who said it first, and I agree with that. But I would like to take it a step further. I would like to substitute the word fuck, for the word kill in all those movie cliches we grew up with. ‘Okay Sheriff, we’re gonna fuck ya now. But we’re gonna fuck ya slow.’ So maybe next year I’ll have a whole fuckin’ rap on that word. I hope so.

Uh, there are two-way words, but those are the seven you can never say on television. Under any circumstances you just can not say them ever, ever ever, not even clinically. You can not weave them in the panel with Doc and Ed and Johnny, I mean it’s just impossible, forget those seven, they’re out.

But, there are some two-way words. There are double-meaning words. Remember the ones your giggled at in sixth grade? ‘And the cock crowed three times.”Hey, the cock the cock crowed three times. It’s in the bible.’ There are some Two-way words, like it’s okay for Curt Gowdy [mis-spelled in original transcription. -ed.] to say ‘Roberto Clemente has two balls on him.’ But he can’t say, ‘I think he hurt his balls on that play Tony, don’t you? He’s holding them. He must have hurt them by God.’ And the other two-way word that goes with that one is prick. It’s okay if it happens to your finger. Yes, you can prick your finger, but don’t finger your prick. No, no.”

I’m gonna miss that lovable, curmudgeony old fuck. Badly. 🙁