All Your Base Are Belong To Us — The Kip Lange Homepage

Internationally acclaimed rockstar and — I think — presidential candidate Barack Obama touched down in Afghanistan early this morning, to kick off his overseas tour, where he plans to figure out why he took various positions on foreign policy before he actually went out there in the first place.

Obama is being accompanied by 300-some media lapdogs, including all the major network anchors.

Meanwhile, John McCain is considering a school shooting spree to get some media attention.

Here’s a good one. A man on a Boston-LA flight (subsequently diverted) stripped naked and then put his clothes pack on with a little help from my hometown soccer team, the New England Revolution.

This is the first time I’ve actually paid attention to the New England Revolution and will probably be the last.

I gotta say, I’m a huge Jon Lajoie fan. Hehe. This ain’t his absolute best work, but it must be accorded accolades.

Okay. I spent all day trying to upgrade the old iPhone to the new 2.0 firmware. Now…I uninstalled iTunes, reinstalled iTunes, it didn’t make any difference. So here’s a handy tip to save you time.

Unplug ALL USB devices except your iPhone. If you have a computer with a USB port in the front, use a USB port in the back.

As soon as I did this I was able to upgrade immediately.

Hope this helps.

After the debacle with the 2.40 firmware, Sony is it at it again, and has released one of the more significant firmware updates for the PS3 to date. This is one of the ones you’ve been waiting for, as it features the long-promised in-game XMB (Cross-Media Bar).

Happy gaming!

Surprisingly, in the continuing competition between the old man and the rockstar, the old man is doing pretty damn well.

Rasmussen polls out today report that the race is all tied up at 43% apiece for the candidates, 46% with “leaners” included. This comes after about two months or so of Obama leading by around five points or so.

Perhaps there’s hope for thoes of us in the GOP, after all. Now, if we could just get McCain to shut the hell up about the global warming bullshit…

Sorry for this, folks, but another Kip Lange has taken the top spot on Google searches when you plug in “Kip Lange”. So I’m going to have to do a little bit of a sleazy post here to try to get my page ranking back up.

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Nearer my Kip Lange to thee; Kip Lange in California, Kip Lange in Wellesley, Mass., Kip Lange in his momma’s basement, sitting on Kip Lange’s ass.

I’m the real Kip Lange yes I’m the real Kip Lange will all the other Kip Langes please shut up and will the real Kip Lange please stand up, please stand up.

Yes indeedy, I am the Kip Lange of all Kip Langes and I don’t like being knocked down a peg by another, grey-haired Kip Lange who does real estate. In fact, it annoys Mr. Kip Lange very mch that he’s not the first Kip Lange you see when you Google “Kip Lange”.

Okay, okay, Kip Lange will let up here and let you get back to business.

I told you. Kip Lange is shameless, Kip Lange wants hits, and Kip Lange wants to be the pre-eminent Kip Lange and the first Kip Lange you run into when you’re searching for Kip Lange. Or Kip Lang. Or Christopher Lange.

Shameless. Kip Lange knows this bbt Kip Lange can’t help but grin his Kip Lange grin as he writes this shameless plug for Kip Lange, Kip Lang, or whatever you’d like to call Kip Lange.

Okay. Kip Lange is done (and done with speaking in the third person about Kip Lange).

Sorry for wasting your time butI I really want that #1 ranking for “Kip Lange” on Google. Send forth the spiders!

Well, the launch wasn’t perfect, but the iPhone 3G is now on the market — and in my hands.

That’s right. I spent seven hours in line yesterday at the Chestnut Hill Mall to get the iPhone. I showed up at 8 AM; stupid me.

Part of the reason the lines are so long is because Apple is pretty much dead set on forcing you to activat the phone in the store. The official line is that people had been having problems doing it at home last time around; the unofficial, and real reason,is that they want to make sure that people don’t take the iPhone home and jailbreak it.

In fact, barely hours after the launch, the new iPhone 3G software had already been cracked and jailbreaking was a possibility.

Certainly didn’t take long, did it?

The new iPhone has a slighter slimmer physique and feels a bit better in the hand than the old one. Aside from that, it runs much faster, it has GPS capabilities, and pretty much everything on it has been made even simpler and more effective. I haven’t had a lot of time to play with it; those seven hours in line wore me out pretty bad (and had I know it would take seven hours, no, I would not have waited in line for it yesterday.

But my initial take? Worth it, and definitely worth it at the new cheaper price(s) — $200 for the 8 gig model, $300 for the 16 gig model.

Another good guy bites the wax tadpole. This morning, Tony Snow, former White House Press Secretary and FOX News fixture, lost his battle with colon cancer.

Snow had been diagnosed with cancer in 2005. He was 53 years olds, and, from all accounts, a very decent man. He will be missed.

Well, there you have it. We now know how Jesse Jackson feels about Barack Obama. He’d like to “cut his nuts” off.

The remark was made while Jackson was wired for sound for an interview on Fox. Why on Earth Jackson didn’t realize his mic would pick up his whisper is beyond me.

You know what my take on this is? It’s refreshing. It’s refreshing to actually hear what people think when they don’t think they’re being monitored. Like Bush’s “major league asshole” remark regarding Clymer from way back when.

Now, I can only begin to speculate what’s behind Jesse’s outburst. Apparently there’s worse stuff on the tape, but they’re not running it. I don’t really know if I buy that or not, but I do buy that on some level, whatever he now says to the contrary, Jackson would indeed like to cut Obama’s nuts off.

So let me begin to speculate. First, the issue that set it off is Obama’s recent move to support Bush’s faith-based initiatives programs. Jackson predicated the nut-chopping remark by saying that “Barack has been talking down to black people.” Now, I really don’t think that’s fair, myself. I haven’t seen any indications of Obama “talking down” to black people. But by supporting faith-based initiatives, he is talking down to Jesse Jackson. More faith-based iniatives leaves less and less of the spotlight for Jesse and Rainbow/PUSH.

Also, I think plain jealousy is at work here. Jackson wishes he could be the dynamic, one might say “legitimate”, black man running for the White House. He’s certainly tried (much to Bill Clinton’s amusement, apparently, recalling past gaffes on the campaign trail).

If there’s anything positive conservatives can take away from an Obama win in November, it would be that finally, fringe/whacko black “leaders” (read: extortion artists) like Jackson would finally be marginalized. They would have less to whip crows into frothing furies over. They’d have less spotlight.

But, folks, let’s admit it — this story, whether it has legs or not, is just plain fun for a lot of us.

And, for the record, although I disagree with Obama on many, many things, I do not want to chop his nuts off. Mr. Obama may keep his nuts.

Maybe that’s it. Maybe Jackson is just envious of Obama’s huge balls and wants to try to graft them on himself?