All Your Base Are Belong To Us — The Kip Lange Homepage

Muhahahahahah! Hahah! HAH!

USC bites it in a contest with UCLA. Oh, thank you God. If it couldn’t be Cal, at least another UC-system school…

May your throwing arm break in two, Booty.

Just thought I’d take a moment to address this issue, since most of the game sites are so fed up with people asking the question that they simply won’t answer it anymore. The question is:

“Why does my character have permanent silence on him/her? I’ve tried Vox and Echo Herbs and nothing works. Also, s/he has no mana points!”

Or, just:

“My character has no mana points!”

Here.

Go into the party screen, go into the accesories for your characters, and unequp the manufactured nethicite or the Dawn Shard.

That help?

And do I totally sound like a RPG geek now?

And out…

I mean this from deep, deep down in my heart. Fuck USC. Fuck the University of Spoiled Children. Fuck the University of South Central. Fuck them all, fuck them all up the ass with a spiked-tip mace.

I can say this because once, a few years ago, Cal, my alma mater, DID fuck USC up the ass with a big spiky stick.

Right now, I’m just hoping Notre Dame can wipe them off them field. They’re like some kind of annoying virus bred in the depths of Los Assholeses. They must be dealt with. Quickly. I’m tired of seeing them in the Championship game. Tired, tired, tired.

Fuck USC. Always hated the bastards.

That goes for all you USC alums, too, fuck you all up the ass until you’re raw and bleeding. Good riddance to your arsehole, that’s what I say.

Happy Thanksgiving, to all…

Happy Thanksgiving, to:

Nig and Heidi, wherever they are right now — Jersey, I’m guessing…

Danny F., Chris F., Michaela, Danny’s GF Kat (did I get that right? hope I did) and the rest of the NorCal crew, sippin’ mulled wine…

Dan B. in Benicia for the holiday, yet another Berkeley man, doin’ his law thing in Indiana…

Carlos K. (K-Rhyme, my man) and Liz, wherever THEY may be…LA? Right around the corner?

To my Aunt Judy, my Uncle David, my cousin Rick, and all the Lange clan in Minnesota…

To my Uncle Tom and his family out in Bakersfield, CA, same bloodline as above…

To the other half of my bloodline, wherever they may be, the Stewardsons, scattered across the East Coast — my cousins Dana, Carrie, and Lizzie, and their families…

Happy Thanksgiving to Sally T. and Peter, in their new house in Colorado…

Happy Thanksgiving to Tracy, in Australia, who has no idea what the hell Thanksgiving *is*…

Happy Thanksgiving to Kristin, in her new digs in Framingham, and to her enormous dog “Baby”…

Happy Thanksgiving to my favorite American expatriates in Costa Rica, the Kung Fu design team, Jolon, Martha, their son Gibson…

Happy Thanksgiving to my man Serge in Germany — don’t hit that absinthe so hard…

Happy Thanksgiving to the man figuring out how to be a father right now, my man David R., also in Germany…

And, of course, Happy Thanksgiving to my mother and my father, who are downstairs, and to my best sidekick, my psycho cat Fritz (bloated from turkey and guarding his favorite rug)…

I’m sure I’ve forgotten people, but Happy Thanksgiving to them as well, and I swear if ya didn’t make it this time you’ll make it to the Christmas list…

Happy Thanksgiving to ME!

And I’m out.

You really have to watch this video to believe it. I don’t know if you’ve heard the backstory — this is “Kramer” from “Seinfeld” trying to do a stand-up act at the Laugh Factory in LA, until he gets interrupted by some black people talking loudly during his act (they didn’t start the heckling). This truly has to be watched to be believed — and his apology on Letterman is pathetic compared to this. Watch it.

By popular demand, Sacha Baron Cohen’s alter ego Borat doing perhaps the most talked-about bit from Da Ali G Show:

Yeah. I said it. We’re not going to a get a PS3. That is, you people reading this. Because as I write this, people are camping out — or lurking around areas where you can’t camp out until a certain time — to get at pretty much a max of 20 premium units and 6 crap 20 gig units (who wants those). So we’re not getting one. I’m almost positive I’m not getting one. I’m too old to camp out. I camped out for Floyd tickets, but I am NOT camping out for a video game console. Those are the same assholes who camped out for the first Star Wars movie — and it SUCKED. I don’t want to have to sit in line for more than twenty minutes with that sort of person.

Know where the PS3s are going? EBay, of course. They’re selling for as high as $2000 on EBay. Those people waiting in line ahead of you are most likely selling their unit on EBay. Why? Because they can make a ton of money, and this is a buggy first release.

Buggy? Did I say buggy? Let’s end this on this note: there is word floating around that Sony’s supposed “backwards-compatible” PS3 is unable to play over 200 different PS2 and PS1 titles. “Oops”?

The Motley Fool is predicting it will be 2008 until we see PS3s around for the buying. I’m not that pessimistic. Give it six months or so, maybe even less. Sony is short on Blu-Ray diodes, sure, but they also know they’re staking their entire reputation on a highly-priced system that is entering the arena rather late.

Who cares, though? You’re still not getting a PS3 for Christmas. Unless you mug somebody. Shh. We’ll talk later, I need someone to drive the getaway car.

Okay, here we go. The PS3 is due out this Friday, November 17th.

I really don’t think I’m going to get my hands on one. I’m not fanatical enough to camp out for a PS3 (after all, these ain’t Pink Floyd tickets or something). So…I guess I’ll give away my little secret thoughts in a tutorial of sorts.

First, like I said before, if you’re not ready to camp out in front of a store, be ready to not get a unit. Each store is probably going to get 5-10 units *maximum*. That being said, cruise in front of the stores you’re thinking of buying from before they open, say 10 minutes before. If there’s a huge line, just forget it. The other thing to remember is that most of these units being sold are going to EBay, so those guys in front of you are out for cold, hard cash, and liable to want it more than a person who just wants to play the new system.

My tips? Find a store that’s out of the way. Try to think of the least obvious store around. Like — now I don’t know if Radio Shack will even carry them, but here’s an example — try to find a Radio Shack that no one ever goes to, tucked way away in a nook or cranny and hard to see. That’s your best bet. That, or by finding a place you wouldn’t ordinarily think of — like Toys ‘R’ Us. Everybody knows they’re there, so that’s a bad example, but still, you get my point, that’s a place that people are less likely to think of in connection with electronics. The Best Buys and such will be the absolute worst.

Now, let’s say you actually manage to get one. GET A REPLACEMENT OR SERVICE CONTRACT. Sony is rushing these things to market so fast, the early units are guaranteed to have flaws. The first PS2s did, and the first XBox 360s did. Now, if you have a replacement warranty, I recommend bringing that thing in right before the contract goes and insisting that there’s something wrong with it. That way, you’ll get a newer PS3 that will likely have less problems. Keep doing this every time the contract comes up about to expire. Trust me, it’s worth it.

Also, make sure you get the 60 gig HD version. There’s no point in getting the other one, even if it’s cheaper. You’re going to have to upgrade at some point; you might as well get it now.

That’s about all I have to say. Good luck to everyone angling to get one. And don’t get one off of EBay for too much money. Just wait. In three or four months there will be more reliable units on the market, and you’ll be able to pick one up with minimum difficulty. This first rush is going to be insane.

If you think I’m wrong about that, just go to Google and look up some news stories about how the Japanese launch went a couple of days ago. Insane. Huge mobs. People camped out for a day or longer. Do you really need it THAT badly?

Anyway, best of luck. All us PS fans, we must rest assured, we WILL all get one eventually.

Godspeed!

First, weather is no excuse for this travesty of a showing against the Jets by New England (fuck the Jets, too, by the way). This game was poorly coached, with too many passes that stopped a yard or two short of a first down, and poorly executed by a flustered Tom Brady who threw two picks and seemed a lot more like our old friend Drew Bledsoe in the pocket.

The Patriots are a better team than this, but unless they can stop the hemorrhaging — for instance, by, say, limiting the enormous amount of turnovers they have coughed up in the last two games — they will still win the AFC East, but not by much, and they will get slaughtered in the playoffs rather early on.

I’m not happy. But the Pats have a way of turning things around, under Brady and Belichick’s guidance, so, while I do indeed maintain my “fuck the Patriots” feeling this week, I remain optimistic about our chances down the line.

But for this week, I’m embarrassed to be a Pats fan.

As I have obliquely alluded to in previous posts, this election was not a repudiation of conservative ideology, but a rejection of the current crop of spend-happy, scandal-plagued, RINO Republicans who simply have lost their way and alienated their conservative base.

Jeff Jacoby of the Boston Globe does a wonderful job summing it up — with help from several remarks by none other than Bill Clinton — this week in his column in a piece entitled “The Republican Debacle”.

I highly recommend reading it, no matter what your political leanings are.