All Your Base Are Belong To Us — The Kip Lange Homepage

Yep, it’s true. We may not have rumble back yet, but for all of you people out there who, like me, like first-person shooters better when you have the freedom and precision of a mouse over the (for FP shooters) clunky controls of a regular Sixaxis controller — Splitfish has announced it’s releasing a mouse system (which can fit in your lap) for the PS3 that should allow all of us spoiled by the PC precision of shooters to match that precision on a Playsation 3.

Hardly as monumental as reviving rumble, but still, an interesting device, especially if you frag like a mofo on a PC but get yourself perpetually waxed when trying to play Resistance online.

I’m not sure if the PS3 firmware updates (currently at 1.54, again) are responsible for this, or if Comcast did something to their network, but I have found that it is now a lot easier to connect. You no longer have to power cycle your cable modem when you swap back and forth between your PC and your PS3. This makes things a hell of a lot easier.

However, that still doesn’t help much you if you buy a Playstation that has the old firmware and you need to connect to update (classic Catch-22, although you can always download the firmware update to a memory stick and import it to the PS3 in that manner). So, if you’ve just bought a PS3 with the old firmware, you’ll still need some help, and I’d like to once again refer you to how I managed to fix the 80710102 problem.

Happy gaming!

Yep. That’s all. The PS3 firmware is now at 1.54. Remember to hook up your ethernet cable.

The title of the post says it all.

Being a fan of the didactics of “Misogyny 101”, I’d like to point out another instance of a woman not knowing what in hell what she wants.

The case in point is a girl that I once had a fairly intense romantic relationship with. Now, these days, she’s engaged to be married, she’s just had a kid (she should have reversed the order of those two, but alas, no one cares anymore in today’s society), and who is very much settling down.

This mystery woman wanted me to know I am an “old friend who can say whatever”. So, in one email, I attempted a compliment, because I do know that women need good potting soil, a lot of light, water, and a constant flow of compliments.

All I dared say was — this is not a verbatim quote, but anyway — “You know, you’re a hell of a girl. I doubt I’ll ever be 100% over you.”

In return, I get an email reminiscent of one long sigh, telling me that the recipient feels she “is being disloyal by just reading such a thing”.

Now, come on! I’m not a homewrecker. I don’t break up relationships, especially when there’s a kid involved. I don’t stop weddings. In fact, were the good lady in question single but still with her child, I would still shy away from her, not because I can’t stand children, but because I’m not in any way equipped to be a father yet — much less a stepfather!

So, I just don’t get it. Had a girl from my past written me something similar, I would have been flattered, but certainly not taken it as overture to restarting romantic activities, especially if I had a child and was engaged to be married. The truth of the matter is that, while I may or may not be “an old friend” of the female in question, I can’t “say whatever I want”, obviously.

Of course, in this case, the woman in question is taking the compliment even further — that my comment somehow implies that I want to wreck her whole current relationship and get back together. Which I wouldn’t want to do, nor would I really want to date her if she was single again, even without child — that chapter of my life is closed, and frankly, our personalities clashed a bit.

I suppose where women are concerned, I should dump all concepts of chivalry out the window and triple-check my messages for anything that could possibly be misconstrued — like, for instance, “Hello!”

Now, I did do my best to respond and point out to the young woman that if she thought that I was the type to come in and try to smash up a family, she certainly didn’t know me well enough to call me “an old friend” and that I was highly disappointed.

I expect I’ll be getting some sort of histrionic comment back telling me that again, somehow, I got it all wrong and I’m evil.

Which leads us back to our topic, which was, what the hell do women want? And how can they not understand men, when we are as simple as “sit, scratch, watch ballgame”?

My favorite male-female situation is when a woman asks me what I’m thinking, because the answer, invariably is — and hey, you women, remember this, you can check it with any man you know — absolutely nothing. I am thinking about absolutely nothing. Only my autonomic systems are functioning, and that means the most important thing on my mind is most likely, Where did I put the remote? — and even that isn’t really formed as a coherent thought.

Ah well. Men are from Mars, women are from the 9th Circle of Hell.

I stand corrected. I posted earlier that MLB 2k7 does not have Dice K in it.

I was wrong. Because Dice K is not a member of the MLB Player’s Union, they can’t use his real name. So, following in the tradition of EA’s MVP series, Dice K is there, but under a different name. Red Sox fans, rejoice.

On the Red Sox, Dice K is “Dennis Miles”. You can edit his name easily. Although I see no signs of the fabled “gyro” pitch being available.

Anyway, I’m glad he’s at least in there. A Dice K by any other name would throw as sweet.

Okay. Let’s put things to rest, here. No pun intended. Bear with the weird list I have to put up, cuz this needs to go first, for the search engines which are going to spider this:

Kip Lang Wellesley High School
Kip Lang Berkeley
Kip Lang dead
Kip Lang suicide
Kip Lange dead
Kip Lange suicide
Kip Lang alive
Kip Lange alive

There. Kip Lang Wellesley High School, Kip Lang Berkeley, all that crap. I’m misspelling my name because a lot of people do that and there may be some people looking for me online, spelling my name wrong, to see if I am DEAD or NOT DEAD. I am not dead.

I got a panicked call from a friend, one Ms. Emily Stifler, who had met a guy I knew from, like Middle School, named Joey D’Agastino. Joey asked Emily if she still talked to anyone from Wellesley, and she said, “Yes, Kip Lange.” Or perhaps “Kip Lang”. I don’t care. Anyway, Joey said, “Oh…I’m sorry to tell you this..but I heard that Kip killed himself.” To which Emily responded, “What? What? I just talked to him about six months ago!” And Joey indicated that apparently I killed myself during the last month or so.

He indicated he got the information from Ian Fitzpatrick, this kid who used to live around the corner from me — his parents still do — who said that his parents told him that I had killed myself a month ago.

Which is interesting, because it’s hard to play MLB 2k7 all day long when you’re dead.

So, to clear this up, you whacko bastards, Kip Lange, or Kip Lang, if you insist on misspelling my name, is not dead. I’m not even depressed! Not in the slightest!

Here’s what’s going on in Kip Lange’s life: I am alive, I am fine, I lost my apartment a couple of years ago, I’ve been crashing with my parents since then, doing freelance contract writing and looking for a job that doesn’t have a lot of pressure, and I am absolutely fine. In fact, I’ve never felt better (although I could stand to lose fifteen pounds or so)!

Nigam Shah is also alive and well, I am in constant contact with him, and Carlos Kase is also alive and well, and I am in constant contact with him.

To repeat: Kip Lange is not dead. Kip Lang is not dead. Christoper “Kip” Lange is not dead. I have not committed suicide. In fact, I’m feeling pretty righteous about things.

Okay. Now I gotta wait for the spiders to pick this up.

Jesus.

Well, I got my hands on MLB 2K7, since the old standard and lovable EA MVP series is dead.

My first impression? Pretty good. It’s not full of eye candy (the best looking games I’ve played for the PS3 so far have been NBA 2K7 and Resistance: Fall of Man), but there’s enough there to tell it’s a next-gen game. And, of course, it’s in high def (720p, I believe, I don’t think it’s 1080p, but that really doesn’t make much of a difference, as I’ve been ranting about).

Aside from that, the gameplay is pretty darn good and — a lot of people will like this — a hell of a lot like the ol‘ MVP play. You won’t have a hard time adjusting to pitching. Hitting is set by default to SIXAXIS control — thrust the controller forward to hit, at an angle to hit up or down. Of course, if you’re anything like me, you’ll get really annoyed at the SIXAXIS style very quickly and you’ll switch the game over to the MVP-style control — swing with the X button and direct your hit by using the left analog stick. You can also go into “swing stick” mode, which gives you a bit more control and uses the right analog stick to swing — a little bit touchy, but more reliable than the SIXAXIS mode (is SIXAXIS ever going to amount to anything interesting? Give us rumble back, Sony!).

You can, of course, download an online roster, the latest of which is supposed to be as of 2/16/07 — but it ain’t. So, fellow Red Sox fans, I hate to break the news — Dice K isn’t in there yet. I imagine he’ll pop up on the next roster update. Truly annoying for Sox fans, though.

There’s a great deal of depth the management of the game, better even than the MVP series. You can use InDepth to purchase scouting reports on your own team, or opposing pitchers, and whatnot. And it helps, it really does. You can call up and send down teammates, although I am not entirely sure there is any way to play minor league games yet (don’t yell at me if there is, I just haven’t had time to muck around enough).

Oh, and if Dice K really is in the new roster and I’m missing him, somehow — would somebody please tell me? 🙂

Overall, a solid game. Promises a lot of fun. Includes a season mode as well as a franchise mode. On a scale of one to ten — Graphics: 6, Gameplay: 8, Learning Curve: 10, Pure Fun: 8.

Overall: 7-8.

Rent it first if you’re unsure about wanting a baseball game, or if you’re really interested in what Sony’s MLB: The Show will be like. But since I don’t trust SCEA sports games, and my most replayed games are all sports ones, I’m sticking with my decision to purchase MLB 2k7.

Finally, just so you know, voice-wise, Jon Miller does the play-by-play while Joe Morgan is the color guy. Now, I’m not a huge fan of either of them, especially Morgan, but they do a pretty nice job on the chatter in MLB 2k7.

Happy gaming!

Well…I spent some of my hard-earned cash on the newest Tiger Woods installment, and I have to say, I’m a little disappointed.

Those of you expecting eye candy, as I was, will be disappointed as well. Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2007 is in high-definition, at least, but the graphics look almost exactly the same as the PS2 version. The TIger Challenge is there again, in a slightly different form, that is, a match ladder. It’s easier to beat this year, it seems, although one difference is you can now adjust the difficulty level of the game (forgive me if I’m wrong about this, but in previous versions, I don’t remember being able to change the difficulty settings).

There are a few minor gameplay tweaks, but nothing major. The game is, of course, good solid fun, it’s just I was hoping for more out of the next-gen version. It’s a great game, and very addictive, although you’ll probably start to lose interest after you beat the Tiger Challenge. Although you do have the option of playing two different online modes (one of which is “battle golf”, which I’m not so fond of).

So, bottom line: same Tiger as always. No major changes. No big jump in graphics on a next-gen system. If you like the series, you’ll still like this game, it just won’t seem any different or significantly improved to you. Save yourself some money and rent this one before you buy.

Now…I’m waiting on Major League Baseball 2k7 (they now have the official MLB franchise, which means your only other baseball option is Sony’s “MLB: The Show”, which I don’t trust given Sony’s tendency to make their games too arcadey — case in point, the dunkfest that is “NBA ’07” by SCEA). MLB 2k7 is released on the 26th of February (tomorrow – Monday) and I should have it in my hands within a day. And, sadly, again, the game so many of us loved that was EA Sports’ “MVP” series is dead and gone. Also, there will be no next-gen version of EA NHL this year for the Playstation 3 — you’re going to have to wait for EA NHL ’08 (one of the greatest sports franchise games ever, in my opinion — and I don’t like real hockey much).

Before someone comes whining to me about this, first, I’d like to add that yes, I know 1080i and 1080p are different, I know that framerates are different, and so on.

Now, if you do a search on the Internet about 720p versus 1080p, you’re going to lose your mind. I’ve just been through about four threads on the topic. I have neither the time nor the patience nor the flame-retardant underwear necessary to post to any of them.

It comes down to this: the uber-geeks are going to scream at you that 1080p is superior. Oh, my God, is it superior, what the hell are you doing even suggesting 720p could rival it?

Of course it’s superior. I’m not arguing that. I’m trying to boil this down simply for the average person who wants to 1) Watch HD television and 2) Play next-gen console games. As for the first scenario, watching HD television, 1080p simply doesn’t matter yet because barely anything is ever *shown* in 1080p. You’re usually just scaling up a 720p image. As for next-gen systems, you’re not going to notice the difference unless you’ve got a massive TV set, one much bigger than the standard 42-inchers that most people are buying right now. Does resolution make a difference? Yes, slightly, most especially in computer monitors. I have a native 1080 resolution monitor I’m using right now. There’s one downstairs that’s 768-native. This monitor looks better. But put a good looking game on either of them, and you can really barely notice the difference.

Do your own research. Go look at 1080p sets that you know are broadcasting in full 1080p next to 720p sets. You will see a difference, but not a large one at all, and only if you’re looking up close. Put it across a coffee table and watch it a little further back and you won’t be able t notice a damn thing. Again, there are too many other things that determine picture quality.

So go look. For God’s sake, do not go surfing around the Internet looking for an answer, because all you will get is a massive headache. For instance, Consumer Reports, which accepts no advertising, and is thus relatively free from being bribed, rates several 720p sets above 1080p sets. Now, if you bring this up in a discussion on the Internet, you’re going to have people sneer at you and make comments like, “Consumer Reports should stick to rating toasters, what do they know about tech?” Well, for one thing, the people they had reviewing the sets were all professional engineers. They weren’t idiots.

In ten years, 1080p may be making a big difference, and the standard TV set you might buy will be an affordable 73″ set. Go figure. But right now, 720p is virtually indistinguishable from 1080p. Therefore, go with the set that you think has the best picture, not with an inferior set merely because it’s 1080p. And in six years or so, when your plasma set wears out, maybe then go ahead, re-evaluate the whole market, and maybe pick up a 1080p. Of course, by that time, there will probably be a higher resolution that people are trying to sucker you into.

Just don’t listen to the geekspeak that pervades the Internet. Look at honest reviews of a particular set, look at that set in person, and choose based on that, not whether or not individual beads of sweat in NBA ’07 look slightly better on a 1080p set.

I go back and forth on adding this little item. It’s the navbar you see at the top of my page that allows you to search my blog for specific terms.

It’s extremely helpful, but I find that it often slows the loading page of my blog down, and being an HTML purist, I hate that.

But, for the time being, it’s back up there. Enjoy. Use. Learn.