All Your Base Are Belong To Us — The Kip Lange Homepage

Yeah, you heard me. We’ve already lost Rodney Harrison for at least four games because the idiot ordered HGH (Human Growth Hormone) over the Internet (smart, Rodney, smmmmarrrtt). And he’s known as the “quarterback” of the defense, given his experience.

Now Seymour has been put on the PUPlist, and will be out for at least six games.

This is not good. We have a tough opener against the Jets and then the biggie — our second game, the Chargers at the Razor, and homefield advantage or no, the Chargers are most certainly going to be gunning hard for the team that tossed them out of the playoffs last season.

Oh well. If anyone can deal with juggling people into his defense when needed, it’s Belichick, I suppose.

We also dropped Vinny Testaverde, but don’t feel too bad for Vinny. If we need him, we’ll just re-sign him later in the season. Too bad we can’t just keep him, though, he’s a good guy, you have to at least admit that. And a hell of an athelete to still be playing at his age.

Anyway, I think us New England fans should calm down a little bit with our way-over-the-top exuberance over this team. Yes, we’re good this year, but anything can happen. And anything just did happen. We last two Pro-bowl quality players on our defense. Are you going to make me say it? Fine, okay, “defense wins championships”.

Don’t think we’re just going to roll over the Jets, either. Mangini has taken the New England system and almost exactly copied it over in New York. The Jets are a team to be reckoned with. I won’t exactly call the opener a trap game, but it’s mighty close.

Hey. Cal beat Tennessee. Good start.

You hear that, Booty? We’re coming for you.

Oh, we are coming for you, USC, God *dammit*.

Okay, what the hell, I’ll post all the changes made myself, save you the trouble of opening up a Word doc.

——-

TRANSACTIONS:

DT Darwin Walker – Traded to Bears
SS Chris Harris – Traded to Panthers
LB Odell Thurman – Removed (Suspended)
LT Tarik Glenn – Removed (Retires)
SS Mike Minter – Removed (Retires)
TE Erik Beverly – Removed (Retires)
S Mike Minter – Removed (Retires)
LB Shelton Quarles – Removed (Retires)
LT Jared Gaither – Drafted by Ravens (Supplemental Draft)
CB Paul Oliver – Drafted by Chargers (Supplemental Draft)
LB Robert Reynolds – Released by Titans
HB Cedric Houston – Released by Jets
WR Darius Watts – Released by Giants
WR Keenan McCardell – Signed to Texans
WR Eric Moulds – Signed to Titans
S Sam Brandon – Released by Broncos
S Jarrod Cooper – Released by Raiders
T Kyle Turley – Signed to Chiefs
HB Shawn Bryson – Released by Lions
DE Simeon Rice – Released by Bucs
G Milford Brown – Signed to Rams
WR Fred Gibson – Released by Falcons
T Kevin Barry – Signed to Texans
TE Courtney Anderson – Signed to Dolphins
HB Tony Fisher – Released by Jets
TE Randal Williams – Released by Raiders
HB ReShard Lee – Released by Raiders
CB Mike Rumph – Released by Rams
WR Chris Hannon – Added to Chiefs
T Ed Blanton – Released by Jets
G Toniu Fonoti – Released by Falcons
DT Corey Simon – Released by Colts
QB John Navarre – Released by Colts
DT Fred Evans – Released by Dolphins
TE Bobby Blizzard – Signed to Bengals
TE Ronnie Ghent – Released by Bengals
WR Bethel Johnson – Signed to Texans
QB J.T. O’Sullivan – Added to Lions
TE Troy Bienemann – Added to Cardinals
WR Kelly Campbell – Released by Dolphins
WR Brandon Williams – Added to 49ers
CB Rich Gardner – Released by Seahawks
SS Donovin Darius – Signed to Raiders
WR Troy Brown – Signed to Patriots
C Adam Treu – Released by Raiders
DT Jordan Carstens – Released by Panthers
CB Greg Brooks – Released by Bengals
WR Corey Bradford – Signed to Redskins
G Wes Sims – Released by Saints
HB Jamal Robertson – Released by Falcons

The players released will appear in Free Agents

Ratings Up

DE Mark Anderson – 84 to 85 OVR
WR Devin Hester – 70 to 72 OVR
LB Landon Johnson – 80 to 83 OVR
LB Ahmad Brooks – 78 to 80 OVR
CB Johnathan Joseph – 82 to 84 OVR
T Erik Pears – 74 to 79 OVR
LB DD Lewis – 78 to 82 OVR
WR Maurice Stovall – 78 to 79 OVR
T Mike Gandy – 74 to 80 OVR
QB Cleo Lemon – 72 to 75 OVR
LB David Harris – 76 to 77 OVR
CB Stanley Wilson – 77 to 79 OVR
TE Darnell Sanders – 69 to 74 OVR
QB JT O’Sullivan – 68 to 74 OVR
S Nate Salley – 70 to 77 OVR
TE Jeff King – 70 to 77 OVR
TE David Thomas – 73 to 77 OVR
C Jeremy Newberry – 80 to 83 OVR
WR Jerry Porter – 80 to 81 OVR
WR Ronald Curry – 78 to 79 OVR
TE Tony Stewart – 71 to 74 OVR
WR Demetrius Williams – 70 to 75 OVR
S Vernon Fox – 72 to 76 OVR
LB Mark Simoneau – 76 to 82 OVR
DE Ray Edwards – 74 to 79 OVR
T John Tait – 91 to 92 OVR
TE Greg Olsen – 79 to 80 OVR
G Stacy Andrews – 74 to 76 OVR
WR Tab Perry – 72 to 73 OVR
HB Dwayne Wright – 71 to 72 OVR
T Jason Peters – 87 to 91 OVR
QB JP Losman – 82 to 83 OVR
LB Louis Green – 60 to 65 OVR
WR Tim Carter – 69 to 72 OVR
DE Greg Spires – 80 to 84 OVR
TE Alex Smith – 79 to 80 OVR
S Aaron Francisco – 73 to 76 OVR
LB Matt Wilhelm – 72 to 75 OVR
LB Stephen Cooper – 72 to 74 OVR
S Jarrad Page – 72 to 74 OVR
QB Brodie Croyle – 77 to 78 OVR
G Ryan Lilja – 85 to 87 OVR
G Jake Scott – 85 to 88 OVR
T Ryan Diem – 89 to 91 OVR
FB Oliver Hoyte – 77 to 79 OVR
DE Trent Cole – 81 to 82 OVR
TE Vernon Davis – 86 to 88 OVR
S James Butler – 69 to 77 OVR
WR Steve Smith – 74 to 75 OVR
TE Marcedes Lewis – 79 to 80 OVR
DE Stanley McClover – 73 to 76 OVR
WR Lance Moore – 59 to 65 OVR
HB Travis Henry – 87 to 88 OVR
QB Jason Campbell – 81 to 82 OVR

Ratings Down

C LeCharles Bentley – 90 to 87 OVR
QB Trent Green – 85 to 84 OVR
LB Eric Barton – 83 to 80 OVR
CB Travis Fisher – 78 to 77 OVR
P Jon Ryan – 84 to 81 OVR
S Stuart Schweigert – 85 to 84 OVR
LB Brian Simmons – 83 to 81 OVR
CB Deltha O’Neal – 85 to 84 OVR
G Matt Lehr – 85 to 82 OVR
QB Damon Huard – 82 to 80 OVR
G John Welbourn – 85 to 82 OVR
S Jason Allen – 80 to 78 OVR
DE Darren Howard – 86 to 85 OVR
CB Patrick Surtain – 93 to 92 OVR

Contract Extensions

Rookie contracts have been updated

Grady Jackson
Dwight Freeney
Cory Redding
Troy Polamalu
Charles Tillman
Nathan Vasher
Marc Bulger
Darwin Walker
Donald Driver
Montrae Holland
Steve Smith
Brian Moorman

…and here’s the “official” list of roster changes in the first roster update for Madden 2008, in .doc format. Download it from here:

http://www.easports.com/maddennfl/news.jsp?url=blogs/news/archive/2007/08/16/madden-nfl-08-roster-update-1-is-available-on-xbox-360.aspx

To see the changes made by the first roster update in Madden, go here:

http://www.pastapadre.com/1477/details-on-the-first-madden-08-roster-update

The guy has made one mistake, though. He says Michael Vick is still available, which is true, but that he has been completely removed from the QB slot, you’d have to go manually get him. Now, it’s true you’d have to manually put Vick in there, but what they’ve actually done is simply move him to third string quarterback. So if you’re playing online (or offline), you can still sub Vick in, and he still has a 90 overall rating.

Pure idiocy. I hope he’s out for good in the next update. I’ve been enjoying watching people avoid Falcons receivers like the plague in the fantasy drafts I’ve been in.

Yep, well, the title pretty much says it all. The first roster update for Madden NFL 2008 is out.

It’s kind of sad the way you have to go about getting it, you can’t just directly download it — you have to start a game with an online player, then it’ll prompt you for an automatic roster download…download the roster and then just quit out of the game if you want (you don’t need to actually start the game to get the roster, so you won’t get a Did Not Finish for it).

…that my publishing is going okay, Blogger is going a tad whacky on me today…

Well, once again, thank you Amazon.com and your recommendations. I took their advice this time and tried out a thriller they suggested, and now I’m addicted to the series.

Specifically, I’m talking about Lee Child (a former television writer) and his “Jack Reacher” series (warning: that link contains a few spoilers). They combine good solid thriller plots with a tough-guy lead character who’s reminiscent of Philip Marlowe, the progenitor of the first-person “tough guy” anti-hero detective.

You can jump into any of Child’s “Jack Reacher” novels whenever you want. It works because Jack Reacher is basically an ex-army drifter who finds himself just sort of coincidentally runing into a lot of mystery/thriller-based plotlines. A little bit like “Kung-Fu” (what a great series that was).

Like Raymond Chandler, the author of the Philip Marlowe novels, Lee Child was born roughly in the center of England, yet somehow manages to capture American grittiness like he’s stopping a bullet with his teeth. The writing is tight and beautiful, frankly.

Of course, this isn’t exactly Hemingway we’re talking about here, but this is great escapist fare for any lover of “literature noir” — more commonly known as “hardboiled mysteries” or “pulp fiction” — the gritty tough-guy novels that pay homage to the early pulp mags like “Black Mask” and such.

Anyway, if you’d like to read them in the order that they were written, start off with Killing Floor.

Now, the plots are a bit thin, and a bit tangled — another thing reminiscent of Chandler, he was famous for indicipherable plots (but a master stylist, a truly great author — Chandler, I’m talking about — one in a billion). But Child’s gritty (I know I keep saying “gritty”, but that’s the word) writing keeps you turning page after page. And it doesn’t drop down to the horribly simplistic (yet addictive) level of, say, James Patterson.

These are truly gritty (what’s the count on how many times I’ve used “gritty” so far? anyone keeping track?) and well-written novels, these Jack Reacher books from Lee Child. I generally don’t recommend authors much; lately I’ve been mired in Peter F. Hamilton’s grand space operas. But I’m recommending Lee Child and his Jack Reacher novels. These are really great books. You’ll get addicted in no time whatsoever.

So, if you’re looking for some good “take-me-away” fast paced thrillers, I say, go get yourself some Jack Reacher.

And if ya don’t read — well, turn off the damn TV for once in your life and start!

Okay, I got my hot little hands on a copy of Madden ’08 for the PS3. Here’s what I think so far.

First, the game is smooth. Damn smooth. Very good-looking. The playcalling is a bit more complex, but improved.

The most annoying thing about this game is that Madden and Michaels are no longer in it. Just annoying generic play-by-play TV announcer guy — and no color guy. Closest thing to a celebrity voice in the game is Marshall Faulk, who introduces each game.

Okay, now to the meat of the matter — Madden ’08 has gotten insanely complex. They have introduced this thing called “weapons” — Smart QB (Peyton Manning or Tom Brady), Power D-Lineman, stuff like that. Each of these have special moves you can use.

For instance, a “Smart QB” will come up to the line with a little light bulb underneath him. You hit L1 and he starts to read the play. If you run the same play against a “Smart QB” too much, he’ll recognize the defense eventually (it’ll show up on your screen, all diagrammed).

And that’s just one weapon…

Okay, the other bad news — they have changed the controls a little bit, and it’s annoying. Remember the great old “hit that X button to run like a power back”? No, now it’s R2 for speed and the right analog stick forward (the “Truck Stick”, it’s been around before) to run. Juking and everything is still there, don’t worry.

The replays are truly excellent now; the graphics are great. And you definitely want to be playing this one in HD. Franchise mode has been improved and reworked and is a bit more fun.

Belicheck still won’t let himself be put in the game. 😉

As far as I know, there are no roster updates available for the game yet.

Oh, and for us Pats fans — the Patriots are now insanely good. Out of a 0-99 ranking, the Pats are ranked at *98* overall. Once again, all this enthusiasm for the Pats is starting to scare me…

There’s also a really cool minigame where you get to be Michael Vick and throw a dog against a wall until it’s dead…oh wait, sorry, no.

However, in All-Pro Football 2k8, the competing franchise from 2K sports, you can play O.J. Simpson. He plays for a fantasy team called “The Assassins”.

I am not making that up.

Madden ’08 gets a B+ from me. If the interface was cleaner and things were a little simpler, I’d bump that up to an A/A-. I mean, come on, it’s Madden. You know it rocks.

Yeah, cuz when Serge the Eskimo gets here, everybody’s gonna jump for joy.

Serge is in Berlin working in post-production. Here’s the most recent video he’s edited (music video). Some nice effects and cuts, and…you gotta love the guy in the giant bunny suit.