All Your Base Are Belong To Us — The Kip Lange Homepage

I just took this picture about five minutes ago. I love my dad. My dad rules. My dad can beat up your dad. Click on it for a much larger version.

Did you know that there actually are lyrics to the original Star Trek theme song? You know, the one with Kirk, McCoy, et al. It’s true, it’s not an urban legend; snopes.com backs it up.

Here, for your benefit, are the lyrics to the original Star Trek theme song. Please try not to read these while you have anything in your stomach. I warned you.

And a one and a two and…

Beyond
The rim of the star-light
My love
Is wand’ring in star-flight
I know
He’ll find in star-clustered reaches
Love,
Strange love a star woman teaches.
I know
His journey ends never
His star trek
Will go on forever.
But tell him
While he wanders his starry sea
Remember, remember me.

You know, I might kinda dig the “strange love a star woman teaches”.

*sigh*. Google has dropped my page ranking for “Kip Lang” again, so I’m just going to have to say Kip Lang a few times until Google spiders go out and crawl over this article and realize that Kip Lang was writing about how people misspell his name as “Kip Lang” (and not Kip Lange, which is correct, and the E is silent), so, you see, I’ve got to repeat the phrase Kip Lang as much as I can, possibly linked with Kip Lang having sex, Kip Lang naked, Kip Lang on dope, Kip Lang is dead, long live Kip Lang.

There.

Argh. I’ve now spent like seven hours on Facebook. It’s too addicting. I have to get away from it.

Who are these people who have over 100 friends on these social networking sites? I can’t even think of 100 random names of people, much less 100 people I know.

And, tell me, is there anything more ugly than those MySpace pages people create with the flashing backgrounds and stuff which subsequently obscures the fascinating minutiae of their life, like how they like to hump Teddy Bears, or something like that (as long as the Teddy Bear isn’t named “Mohammed”).

Worst of all, now I’m on there. Argh! Argh!

Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to add to my sidebar links the homepage of one Mr. Kevin Shay, author of The End as I Know It: A Novel of Millenial Anxiety.

Kevin and I go wayyyy, way, wayyyyy back in the Wayback machine to a little place called Creative Arts at Park.

The above link is to the book itself; the sidebar link is to Kevin’s blog.

Listen to Kevin. Read Kevin. Kevin is a very intelligent man. You don’t hear me saying that too often.

Does anybody else get these? The aforementioned “post-Christmas blahs”?

You gotta know what I mean. All the effort and everything that leads up to Christmas, then everybody opens their presents, and you eat your ham, or maybe you open your ham and you eat your presents, I don’t know, but then, damn, it’s all over and New Year’s is creeping up…and I really am kind of sick of celebrating New Year’s, it always feels forced to me.

I mean, back in the day, so to speak, I liked New Year’s, because I’d go out and get totally plastered and then maybe dump a beer on my head at midnight. But now I’m older and my constitution simply can’t take that, even if I was still trying to party at that level.

It’s just an empty feeling, you know? A very empty feeling. I was so close to running to the liquor store and buying a pint of Jack Daniel’s, but that never goes well — drinking alone, I mean — and I always end up calling up some ex-girlfriend at like one in the morning and insisting I still love her (which I probably do, but which none of the poor ladies I have put through the grinder that is known as a relationship with me deserve to be reminded of).

Ah well.

Yes, indeed. Merry Fucking Christmas, okay?

Really.

And a happy motherfucking New Year.

Regards,
Weird Uncle Kip

Here ya go. Here’s a picture of me unshaven and unwashed.

I’m well on my way to dirty old man, don’t you think?

Here you go (click for a larger version):

Ugly son of a bitch, ain’t I? 😉

Alright, alright, I give up, I’ve finally gone ahead and joined the social networking thing.

Not like I really care, but I had skeleton profiles on MySpace and Facebook, and some people I actually like contacted me through them, so…whatever, I give up, I’m in MySpace and Facebook now.

In Facebook I’m under the name “Superpimp Jerky” — there’s another Kip Lange, some crunchy-granola asshole — whatever you do, don’t mistake him for me. *Please*.

Okay, just for the heck of it, I’ve put the Shrine map mod local, here on my own site.

So you can download it right here.

If that link doesn’t work for some reason, the full URL is http://www.kiplange.com/downloads/dm_shrine_ps3.zip.

See my earlier posts for instructions on adding the mod to the game.

Enjoy!