Back on the market?

So here I am, thinking to myself, it’s been ten years since you last did…anything…with a woman. On purpose. I did this for several reasons. First, I had a couple that got away. Two, exactly, if I’m counting right. Yeah, two. On different continents. LOL. Anyway. I figured, shrug, what’s the use playing the game. It’s just frustrating. There’s no point to it. It’s complicating your life. Screw it.  Plus, you’re overweight, unemployed, you live with your parents, and you have terrible teeth. What woman could possibly resist you? Hehe. I just got tired of the shit. Really did. Plus, due to my condition, I’m kind of a shut-in. I mean, you’d never know it if you met me; I’m very charming and gregarious. Or I at least try to be. Especially since I kicked the booze out of my life.

Anyway, a few months ago, I decided it was time to change my eating habits a little. I had put on a TON of weight because they had me on lithium after the thing ten years ago, and it did absolutely nothing for me except zonk me out — and add weight. Tons of it. 75 lbs, to be precise. Now, it works for a lot of people, so don’t let me turn you off on lithium, okay? Everyone who has problems such as these needs a different combination of pills. It’s merely a chemical imbalance in your brain. You’re not weird, okay? You’re not “crazy”. You just have a chemical imbalance in your brain. Let the imbalance get too far, and you go crazy, yes. And that happened to me. And it took a long time to put myself back together. I’m still doing it. That’s the other thing. I don’t want to burden a woman with someone like me. You know? Moody. Chemically imbalanced. Still smoking, although I’m using almost exclusively a vaporizer now. And the thing is — see my post on playing chess with life — if I’m going to be with a woman, I have to be absolutely ready, because I do NOT plan on divorce. Or leaving her, if she’s not into marriage, once we have a kid. Period. End paragraph. I’m old fashioned. I’m a conservative (conservatrarian). Right. Rambling here. Point is, after I started eating healthier (hey, here’s a trick — diet green tea), without really trying, I dropped 55 pounds. I’m looking really slim again. And I’ve met a couple of interesting women. I don’t know. I feel like there’s a change in the air. I mean, I know I’m relatively good looking, and now that the weight is gone…and I’m almost down to back where I was in college…use it while you got it, right?

Sigh. I don’t know. It’s just that I don’t really give a shit about the whole deal. I dunno. I’m relatively happy now. Do I need to complicate my life with another woman? Because all I’ve gotten is trouble and hurt. Except for a couple of ’em. But most of ’em just ended up sticking it to me in the end. Yeah. You know who you are. Pffffft. Some of you didn’t, and I appreciate that, I do. But you’re all very complicated and you’re all looking to change me, and look, I’m not going to change, okay? This is me. This is what you get. Period. It ain’t gonna change.

Plus, there’s all the games. Look, women, I don’t make the first move. Learn it. I don’t. Period. If you’re a woman and I’m even talking to you, it means I have a tremendous amount of respect for you. Because most of them, I just can’t be bothered with. So just tell me I’m cute, come over, make it clear. ‘kay? No screwing around. No testing me. No waiting for me to make the move. You want me, go for it. Cuz I just do NOT want to play that game. Maybe I’ll go out and fuck with women for a change. Play games with *them*. Lead them on, then just drop them cold. Totally screw with their heads. That would be kinda cool. Getting them back at their own game.

Dunno. Weighing it all. The whole 99 Problems pull is very strong, though. I don’t want to be manipulated. Really. I hate that. I like the fact that without a woman in my life, things are much simpler. And an object at rest tends to stay at rest.

Ah, screw this. I’ll think about it later. I’m going back to Dead Space 3. 🙂

Posted in personal, philosophy, rants | 1 Comment

PlayStation 4 (“Orbis”) Release Announcement on Feb 20th

Well, here we are at the end of the current console cycle (but, hey, if any more games like DeadSpace 3 come out, we’re going out with a bang!). PlayStation is expected to announce the release date of the PlayStation 4, named “Orbis”, on February 20th. Some gaming titles have already leaked…you can find them here:

http://www.digitaltrends.com/gaming/playstation-4-games-teased-from-creators-of-heavy-rain-littlebigplanet-and-killzone/

On the XBox front, I’ve heard rumors the “720” is going to be basically controller-less. You will use a headset. I find it a little hard to believe that MSFT would go full-on Kinect-style and lose the controller; they’d drive away many, many hardcore gaming fans. I mean, oddly enough, even though the Kinect, the Move, and the Wii are all struggling a bit, everybody, including Sony, seems to be doubling down on the tech. I find it interesting…but 90% of these things, I mean, look, if I wanted this sort of thing, I’d get off my lazy butt, go get a health club membership, and work out. Or I’d just find someone with a ping-pong table. I know the tech is in its infancy, but these companies need to understand that hardcore gamers like me like the feel of that heavy weighted controller in their hands. Sure, I’m interested in AR and VR stuff, but just let me retain the option to use a controller, eh?

Will post again when I have more news.

Posted in computers, current events, videogames | Leave a comment

And now for something completely different…

I’m sure you’re all running around with your underwear on top of your head panicking about the Pope. We need a new Pope! Does a Pope resign in the woods? I guess we do the “lock em up and watch the smoke” thing now, right?

Please, please; an appeal for sanity…

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Contact Form Added

Okay, got a request to add a contact form, so I’mma gonna do it, but if ya spam me, it’s going down. 😉 Cheers!

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The Blizzard of 2013

Well, here it comes. TWENTY FOOT WAVES? 65 mph winds? BLIZZARD conditions? Whiteouts? We have a local scale that goes from 1-10 for these things; we’ve never had a 10 in history. This is supposedly a 10. Whoa.

So stock up and get wherever you have to be by early Friday afternoon. Good luck, guys.

I’m charging my camera, I’ll try to get some pictures.

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He Hates These Cans!

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Penn Jillette on Capitalism, Magic, and Morality

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The New Phonebooks Are Here!!!!

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Playing Chess With Life

I want to talk about something that may sound a little weird for a second. Especially to non-chess players. Does anyone else besides me “play chess with life”? I am not the person who coined the term; a friend of mine did. I’ll tell you the setup. I came out of college, joined an aspiring startup I thought looked good. Everyone in the place was in a relationship except me. Now, I didn’t know this, but apparently behind my back there were a lot of weird rumors going around — you know, relatively good looking guy, pretty smart, fairly nice guy — what’s the deal? Apparently the first rumor was that I was banging the receptionist in the copy room. Hehehe. No. There were a few others tossed around, then they arrived at “He’s gay”. *sigh* But then my friend AJ stepped in and said, “No….no…he’s not. I think I know what it is. He’s always talking about chess — he plays chess with life.”

What does that mean? If you don’t play chess, you won’t really understand, but the basic concept is thinking ahead. Anticipating and evaluating the possibilities and outcomes. Also, trying to see the board from your opponent’s point of view. But if you don’t love chess, you don’t know exactly what it feels like.

Well, I know what it feels like. And it can be best summed up in a scene from “Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows” (the second one). Without all the cool slo-mo graphics. Point is, when I meet a woman, I’m already calculating at least 10-20 moves ahead. Dating. Sex. Relationship. Moving in together. Marriage. Pressure to have a child when her biological clock starts ticking. I run as many visualizations of the situation as I can through my head, and try to see what the outcome can be given the information I have. Of course, I’m always absorbing new information, so I’m always re-evaluating. But men, you know there are precious few women you really want to spend any time at all with, really, apart from the sex.

And, of course, this is only an example of one way I play chess with life. I do it with everything. I only mention the above because it’s the story of the genesis of the phrase.

Right, Kip. Shut up and show them the movie.

(Note the chess board in the scene and that when Moriarty braces himself you can see a chess clock)

 

 

Posted in bizarre, personal, philosophy | 1 Comment

Kiplange.com Status Update

Heyo, I have most things back up and running, although I seem to have lost all my comments. *shrug*. The only other problem is that I think some work is being done on the server my database is hosted on, so occasionally you may see a “Error connecting to database” message, in which case simply wait a minute or two, come back, and reload. Thanks for bearing with me. All apologies.

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