Message to Julian Assange

Posted on February 19, 2013 by Kip

I don’t know if you’ve seen this, but this broke yesterday: Julian Assange is going to run for the Senate in Australia.

Here:

CANBERRA, Australia — WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange regards his bid to become an Australian senator as a defense against potential criminal prosecution in the United States and Britain, a news website reported on Monday.

Full story available here:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/17/julian-assange-australia-senate_n_2708161.html

Here is what I would like to say to Mr. Assange:

Dear Mr. Assange:

Kip Lange here. I’m writing to let you know your fifteen minutes of fame are over. I know you’re not quite fully aware of this yet, but, I am afraid it is so. I understand that there are lots of condoms to poke holes into and many beautiful women to rape in Australia, but I happen to like Australia very much, and have always wanted to go there. In fact, I will be going there as soon as I have the money saved up. So, Sir, I ask you to please do to following: Fuck off. Yes, fuck off. Now fuck off some more. Fuck off a little bit more, yes, that’s good, keep going, keep fucking off. See that cliff edge over there? Go fuck off near it. That’s good. Yes. Keep fucking off. A little bit further…okay…almost there…just fuck off some more…ALMOST THERE…fuck off one more time. AH, there we go! SPLAT!

Thank you for your time and consideration, Mr. Assange.

Best,
Christopher “Kip” William Lange

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Happy Presidents Day!

Posted on February 18, 2013 by Kip

Seriously. Don’t Tread On Us.

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All That Jazz (1979) — Final Scene — Bye Bye Life

Posted on February 17, 2013 by Kip

This is the final scene of the Bob Fosse musical “All That Jazz”. Fosse wrote it about himself. I’ve always thought, when I go, this is how it’s going to be. Or sort of how I envision it being. It makes me laugh and cry simultaneously. Powerful stuff. Do not click if you can’t handle the concept of death.

Yeah. Jazz hands, please.

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Never hate on Canada except in jest!

Posted on February 16, 2013 by Kip

Trebek, Michael J. Fox, etc., etc., but most important: Jon Lajoie. NSFW (adding new category).

Find more about Jon Lajoie here, and support the man. He’s a comic genius.

http://www.jonlajoie.com/

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Sing it, Sam…

Posted on February 16, 2013 by Kip

Tell them ’bout it, Mr. Cooke. Testify!

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Teller’s “Shadows” Illusion

Posted on February 16, 2013 by Kip

More magic. This illusion, created by Teller of Penn & Teller, is, like the best magic tricks, not simply an illusion, but also a beautiful form of magical poetry. They perform this at their show at the Rio in Las Vegas.

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If one of those dots stopped moving…

Posted on February 15, 2013 by Kip

I give you one of the most important scenes in the history of cinema: The Ferris Wheel scene from “The Third Man”. I don’t need to explain anything here. Just relax, sit back, and enjoy.

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Meteor Strike In Russia

Posted on February 15, 2013 by Kip

I was talking to someone in Puerto Rico last night, and they said, “Is there something going on? The sky is all weird. It’s all…orange and shit…”. Well, I think maybe this has something to do with it…

Moscow (CNN) — A meteor streaked through the skies above Russia’s Urals region Friday morning, before exploding with a flash and boom that shattered glass in buildings and left hundreds of people hurt.

Read the full story here:

http://www.cnn.com/2013/02/15/world/europe/russia-meteor-shower/index.html?hpt=hp_t1

And THIS is why we need to set up something that can shoot down or divert an incoming asteroid. Unless you want to go out like the dinosaurs.

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The Magic Trick That Started My Obsession…

Posted on February 15, 2013 by Kip

The first magic show I ever went to was Blackstone, and he did this trick (as well as the disappearing bird — I was one of the kids onstage)…and this is the one that really got me hooked. When he sends it flying out over your head, you’re just like…WOW. Now starting a new category. Magic.

This is the only existing YouTube footage of the floating lightbulb.

 

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Philosophical shift

Posted on February 14, 2013 by Kip

I would like to announce, that as of now, I fully support gay marriage, as I feel the issue has not been shoved down my throat recently. This is a move from civil unions with all the benefits of marriage, but leaving God out of the matter. I will now fight as hard as I can on the issue in the conservative corner of the GOP. I apologize for my slow move to this position; as a contrarian, the issue would repeatedly be forced upon me, and my contrarian instincts would kick in and I would argue against it. I wish all the LBGTs out there the absolute best of luck. I cannot see in any way how you marrying infringes on the rights endowed upon me by The Creator, or anyone else’s. Go with God, go with peace, good luck to you all. I now stand with you fully on this issue. I’ll do what I can to change the minds of others, but this is something that one has to arrive at oneself, I think. Take care.

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