All Your Base Are Belong To Us — The Kip Lange Homepage

Yeah. Right. I get this great idea, at 3:15 AM last Saturday night, that I’ll drive down to the house in Eastham (Cape Cod), open it up for the summer, air it out a little, maybe walk along the beach, then take a nap, and I’ll be back by like four in the afternoon.

So I get down there at 5:00, roughly, and the house is freezing. I mean, really cold. We leave the thermostat on down there just a little so the pipes won’t freeze, and something was definitely wrong.

And the damn magnet we had for the oil company is not on the refrigerator anymore.

So I spend the next hour on my cell calling different oil companies, in the car (because you can see your breath in the house) and eventually track down the right company. They don’t call until around 8 AM, at which point I’m told, it’ll be at least two hours until we get there.

I said screw it, ran down the the Hearth & Kettle on 6A, and had an enormous breakfast. Then I tipped the waitress $23 on a $17 meal — what the hell, it’s Easter, right?

When I get back, I lounge in the car again for about an hour until the guy shows up. Nice guy. I take him downstairs, he attacks the fuel pump, he fixes it quickly, informs me that the fuel pump was filled with air that he had to bleed out, and now it’s working just fine (“The spark is wicked huge!” he told me).

Now I spend two hours waiting for the house to warm up. The house does not warm up. Around noon, I call my father. He insists the house should be warm by now and calls the oil guy back. The oil guy calls me (as my cell phone is just dying — the regular phone service is still off down there) and tells me, “That house is wicked cold. Wicked cold. Trust me. It’s gonna take like six hours to heat up.”

So I waited two more hours…then figured…what the hell…and drove all the way back.

I did get to see the sun rise at Skaket Beach, though. Har!

Just a quick note/reminder to PS3 owners — plug that ethernet cable in, because Sony has just released version 1.60 of the PS3 firmware.

If you’re having troubles connecting to the network with your PS3, you can always get the firmare at Sony’s website.

It includes the ability to download a neat new app, Folding@home, which allows you, if you’re not playing a game/watching a movie/etc, to aid Stanford researchers in the study of protein folding. Kinda neat.

Well, I do have to report good news. I got in touch with an old friend whom I parted with on less than great terms — an old female friend, not a girlfriend, but a good friend. And the young lady in question has absolved me from the temper tantrum I threw at her during our last meeting. Which is a huge weight off my back, because this is one of those temper tantrums you have that lasts five minutes and then you realize how stupid it was but there’s no damn going back.

I am guilty, I believe, of blanket judgment of all women sometimes. If one acts one way, I somehow think they all act that way. Which is stupid. Which is why I don’t have a girlfriend or many female friends (when, in fact, I actually like platonic female friends — a lot — the few that I have).

I’m working on it, that’s all I can say. Thirty-one years old and I’m still working on it. Then again, can any guy reading this tell me they really understand women? I don’t mean understanding how to manipulate them, because I know some guys like that, and I don’t particularly like that approach, and it certainly isn’t anywhere near the same thing as actually understanding women.

But I feel better. Dharma has been restored. Karma has worked to swing things back to their natural balance. The Eagle has landed (no, wait, that last one, right, that makes no sense — I just like saying it — “the Eagle has landed!” — it never loses power as a phrase to me…)

Perhaps I’m not hopeless after all. 🙂

Nah, who am I kidding…hehehe.

I do feel better about myself, though.

Yep, it’s true. We may not have rumble back yet, but for all of you people out there who, like me, like first-person shooters better when you have the freedom and precision of a mouse over the (for FP shooters) clunky controls of a regular Sixaxis controller — Splitfish has announced it’s releasing a mouse system (which can fit in your lap) for the PS3 that should allow all of us spoiled by the PC precision of shooters to match that precision on a Playsation 3.

Hardly as monumental as reviving rumble, but still, an interesting device, especially if you frag like a mofo on a PC but get yourself perpetually waxed when trying to play Resistance online.

I’m not sure if the PS3 firmware updates (currently at 1.54, again) are responsible for this, or if Comcast did something to their network, but I have found that it is now a lot easier to connect. You no longer have to power cycle your cable modem when you swap back and forth between your PC and your PS3. This makes things a hell of a lot easier.

However, that still doesn’t help much you if you buy a Playstation that has the old firmware and you need to connect to update (classic Catch-22, although you can always download the firmware update to a memory stick and import it to the PS3 in that manner). So, if you’ve just bought a PS3 with the old firmware, you’ll still need some help, and I’d like to once again refer you to how I managed to fix the 80710102 problem.

Happy gaming!

Yep. That’s all. The PS3 firmware is now at 1.54. Remember to hook up your ethernet cable.

The title of the post says it all.

Being a fan of the didactics of “Misogyny 101”, I’d like to point out another instance of a woman not knowing what in hell what she wants.

The case in point is a girl that I once had a fairly intense romantic relationship with. Now, these days, she’s engaged to be married, she’s just had a kid (she should have reversed the order of those two, but alas, no one cares anymore in today’s society), and who is very much settling down.

This mystery woman wanted me to know I am an “old friend who can say whatever”. So, in one email, I attempted a compliment, because I do know that women need good potting soil, a lot of light, water, and a constant flow of compliments.

All I dared say was — this is not a verbatim quote, but anyway — “You know, you’re a hell of a girl. I doubt I’ll ever be 100% over you.”

In return, I get an email reminiscent of one long sigh, telling me that the recipient feels she “is being disloyal by just reading such a thing”.

Now, come on! I’m not a homewrecker. I don’t break up relationships, especially when there’s a kid involved. I don’t stop weddings. In fact, were the good lady in question single but still with her child, I would still shy away from her, not because I can’t stand children, but because I’m not in any way equipped to be a father yet — much less a stepfather!

So, I just don’t get it. Had a girl from my past written me something similar, I would have been flattered, but certainly not taken it as overture to restarting romantic activities, especially if I had a child and was engaged to be married. The truth of the matter is that, while I may or may not be “an old friend” of the female in question, I can’t “say whatever I want”, obviously.

Of course, in this case, the woman in question is taking the compliment even further — that my comment somehow implies that I want to wreck her whole current relationship and get back together. Which I wouldn’t want to do, nor would I really want to date her if she was single again, even without child — that chapter of my life is closed, and frankly, our personalities clashed a bit.

I suppose where women are concerned, I should dump all concepts of chivalry out the window and triple-check my messages for anything that could possibly be misconstrued — like, for instance, “Hello!”

Now, I did do my best to respond and point out to the young woman that if she thought that I was the type to come in and try to smash up a family, she certainly didn’t know me well enough to call me “an old friend” and that I was highly disappointed.

I expect I’ll be getting some sort of histrionic comment back telling me that again, somehow, I got it all wrong and I’m evil.

Which leads us back to our topic, which was, what the hell do women want? And how can they not understand men, when we are as simple as “sit, scratch, watch ballgame”?

My favorite male-female situation is when a woman asks me what I’m thinking, because the answer, invariably is — and hey, you women, remember this, you can check it with any man you know — absolutely nothing. I am thinking about absolutely nothing. Only my autonomic systems are functioning, and that means the most important thing on my mind is most likely, Where did I put the remote? — and even that isn’t really formed as a coherent thought.

Ah well. Men are from Mars, women are from the 9th Circle of Hell.

I stand corrected. I posted earlier that MLB 2k7 does not have Dice K in it.

I was wrong. Because Dice K is not a member of the MLB Player’s Union, they can’t use his real name. So, following in the tradition of EA’s MVP series, Dice K is there, but under a different name. Red Sox fans, rejoice.

On the Red Sox, Dice K is “Dennis Miles”. You can edit his name easily. Although I see no signs of the fabled “gyro” pitch being available.

Anyway, I’m glad he’s at least in there. A Dice K by any other name would throw as sweet.

Okay. Let’s put things to rest, here. No pun intended. Bear with the weird list I have to put up, cuz this needs to go first, for the search engines which are going to spider this:

Kip Lang Wellesley High School
Kip Lang Berkeley
Kip Lang dead
Kip Lang suicide
Kip Lange dead
Kip Lange suicide
Kip Lang alive
Kip Lange alive

There. Kip Lang Wellesley High School, Kip Lang Berkeley, all that crap. I’m misspelling my name because a lot of people do that and there may be some people looking for me online, spelling my name wrong, to see if I am DEAD or NOT DEAD. I am not dead.

I got a panicked call from a friend, one Ms. Emily Stifler, who had met a guy I knew from, like Middle School, named Joey D’Agastino. Joey asked Emily if she still talked to anyone from Wellesley, and she said, “Yes, Kip Lange.” Or perhaps “Kip Lang”. I don’t care. Anyway, Joey said, “Oh…I’m sorry to tell you this..but I heard that Kip killed himself.” To which Emily responded, “What? What? I just talked to him about six months ago!” And Joey indicated that apparently I killed myself during the last month or so.

He indicated he got the information from Ian Fitzpatrick, this kid who used to live around the corner from me — his parents still do — who said that his parents told him that I had killed myself a month ago.

Which is interesting, because it’s hard to play MLB 2k7 all day long when you’re dead.

So, to clear this up, you whacko bastards, Kip Lange, or Kip Lang, if you insist on misspelling my name, is not dead. I’m not even depressed! Not in the slightest!

Here’s what’s going on in Kip Lange’s life: I am alive, I am fine, I lost my apartment a couple of years ago, I’ve been crashing with my parents since then, doing freelance contract writing and looking for a job that doesn’t have a lot of pressure, and I am absolutely fine. In fact, I’ve never felt better (although I could stand to lose fifteen pounds or so)!

Nigam Shah is also alive and well, I am in constant contact with him, and Carlos Kase is also alive and well, and I am in constant contact with him.

To repeat: Kip Lange is not dead. Kip Lang is not dead. Christoper “Kip” Lange is not dead. I have not committed suicide. In fact, I’m feeling pretty righteous about things.

Okay. Now I gotta wait for the spiders to pick this up.

Jesus.

Well, I got my hands on MLB 2K7, since the old standard and lovable EA MVP series is dead.

My first impression? Pretty good. It’s not full of eye candy (the best looking games I’ve played for the PS3 so far have been NBA 2K7 and Resistance: Fall of Man), but there’s enough there to tell it’s a next-gen game. And, of course, it’s in high def (720p, I believe, I don’t think it’s 1080p, but that really doesn’t make much of a difference, as I’ve been ranting about).

Aside from that, the gameplay is pretty darn good and — a lot of people will like this — a hell of a lot like the ol‘ MVP play. You won’t have a hard time adjusting to pitching. Hitting is set by default to SIXAXIS control — thrust the controller forward to hit, at an angle to hit up or down. Of course, if you’re anything like me, you’ll get really annoyed at the SIXAXIS style very quickly and you’ll switch the game over to the MVP-style control — swing with the X button and direct your hit by using the left analog stick. You can also go into “swing stick” mode, which gives you a bit more control and uses the right analog stick to swing — a little bit touchy, but more reliable than the SIXAXIS mode (is SIXAXIS ever going to amount to anything interesting? Give us rumble back, Sony!).

You can, of course, download an online roster, the latest of which is supposed to be as of 2/16/07 — but it ain’t. So, fellow Red Sox fans, I hate to break the news — Dice K isn’t in there yet. I imagine he’ll pop up on the next roster update. Truly annoying for Sox fans, though.

There’s a great deal of depth the management of the game, better even than the MVP series. You can use InDepth to purchase scouting reports on your own team, or opposing pitchers, and whatnot. And it helps, it really does. You can call up and send down teammates, although I am not entirely sure there is any way to play minor league games yet (don’t yell at me if there is, I just haven’t had time to muck around enough).

Oh, and if Dice K really is in the new roster and I’m missing him, somehow — would somebody please tell me? 🙂

Overall, a solid game. Promises a lot of fun. Includes a season mode as well as a franchise mode. On a scale of one to ten — Graphics: 6, Gameplay: 8, Learning Curve: 10, Pure Fun: 8.

Overall: 7-8.

Rent it first if you’re unsure about wanting a baseball game, or if you’re really interested in what Sony’s MLB: The Show will be like. But since I don’t trust SCEA sports games, and my most replayed games are all sports ones, I’m sticking with my decision to purchase MLB 2k7.

Finally, just so you know, voice-wise, Jon Miller does the play-by-play while Joe Morgan is the color guy. Now, I’m not a huge fan of either of them, especially Morgan, but they do a pretty nice job on the chatter in MLB 2k7.

Happy gaming!