All Your Base Are Belong To Us — The Kip Lange Homepage

You’re gonna love my nuts!

Just a quick note to say I like what we’re doing in the draft so far. Although it doesn’t surprise me. Belicheck always trades down in the draft — especially this year, when everyone thinks it’s a weak draft. We’ve picked up, what, two 2nd-round picks for next year’s draft?

I live again…

It’s done. It’s over. The historic election has come and gone. And I congratulate Barack Obama and his supporters on their ground-breaking success. I know they’re ecstatic right now.

But there’s a fly in the ointment. A big fly. Here’s what it is: 48% of the country, myself included, did not vote for Barack Obama. 48% of the country disagrees with him on major issues. Did this number change simply because he was elected? No. 48% of the country will continue to disagree with Barack Obama.

That’s a lot of people. A lot, a lot, a lot of people.

Obama did indeed promise that he hears the voices of the people who did not vote for him. This is a speech every president makes. There’s nothing new about it. Remember Bush talking about how he would be a “uniter, not a divider”? Did it happen? No. Will it not happen again? Probably.

Obama now faces the real prospect of governing the country. He’s promised just about everything under the sun, so now he’s in a little bit of trouble. He either keeps his promises and appeases his liberal base, or he moves to the center (as he has been doing recently), and governs center-right, which is where the majority of this country lies. Reports are that he’s studying up very carefully on the disastrous first two years of the Clinton administration, when they tried to push through too many fringe ideas too quickly, and crashed and burned. Barack Obama is not a stupid man.

We are not a united people. We will not all get together and sing “Kumbaya” simply because Obama was elected. Those of us who disagree with Mr. Obama will continue to disagree with Mr. Obama, until he shifts positions.

And for those of you conservatives in the dumps over the election — just wait. The GOP could use some wilderness time to rediscover their Reaganite roots and think about how badly they screwed up by going drunk with spending binges. Just…wait. Jimmy Carter was elected in 1976 and was “Saint Jimmy” to many people; the world was going to be saved. Instead he was a disaster and in 1980 the world got Ronald Reagan. Bill Clinton was elected in ’92 and two years later accomplished something that had not been done in almost fifty years — he lost control of the House and Senate to Republicans.

So, again, for you 48%, along with me, who do not agree with Mr. Obama, simply have some patience. Either Obama will move to the center, in which case we start to get what we’re looking for, or he falls prey to the liberal agenda he ran on in the primaries, in which case he becomes a spectacular failure and a one-term president.

Time and reality have a way of taking care of things, even such platitudes as “hope” and “change”. Even when it’s Change You WILL Submit To. Even when it’s watered-down Socialism.

Take heart, and wait. When Obama becomes president, he is going to find it very hard to be all things to all people, and he will have to choose his path.

And 48% of us will we watching very, very closely.

…to President-elect Obama and his supporters.

I mean that. They ran a very good campaign.

On the bright side for the Rs, we can still filibuster.

But for now, congrats to the Obama supporters…

…but in a couple of months, I’m going to start up the ranting against The Obamanation…

I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy — real, actual, heartfelt sympathy — from some of my liberal friends over the state the election is in.

I don’t need it. I don’t care.

First, let me preface this by saying we have two weeks to go and two weeks in politics is a lifetime. So Barack shouldn’t be measuring the drapes quite yet.

But, mostly, I just want the election over. Over. It’s times like these when I wish we had a parliamentary system and this whole thing could be done within two weeks, instead of having to suffer through virtually two years of this crap.

Anyway, here’s the thing. The Republicans are idiots. Yes, I just said that. The Democrats are idiots, fools, and dangerous, but the Republicans are idiots. And a loss for them in November can do two things.

First, in the wilderness years, they can ponder what went wrong, and stage a comeback. Remember Bill Clinton getting elected? Remember how it led to a complete takeover of Congress by Republicans two years later? That could easily happen. I doubt Obama is going to keep that coveted “supermajority” for very long. It just doesn’t work like that.

Second, the Republicans can realize why things went wrong, and that is because they strayed from their conservative roots. The base was pissed off during the primaries, and the base had every right to be pissed off. We were given a bunch of moderate bumblers who all tried to make the case they were Reagan. None of them are Reagan. Reagan was dubbed “too conservative” to win in 1980. Nobody is ever going to accuse this bunch of jerks of that.

There’s actually a third reason I’m not so upset. If Obama wins, I get the chance to blame him for everything for the next 4-8 years. Playing defense for the eternally-defensive Bush camp has been a pain in the ass. It’s much easier to on the offense and blame everything on Obama. And I mean everything. After what the libs have blamed Bush for (“My damn car won’t start — fucking Bush!”), I’m not going to pull any punches if Obama is elected. I’m going to blame him for everything. Especially the inevitable failure of his own agenda, which I don’t even support.

But let us conservatives hope that if Mr. Obama wins this election, that in our “wilderness” years, we take some serious time for introspection. We remember that we’re not supposed to be the party who spends like there’s no tomorrow.

The expectations for Obama are so high that there’s no possible way he can live up to them if he’s elected. So fine, elect him.

My computer had some problems this morning. Fuckin‘ Obama.

Muhahahaha.

Either way, let us take solace in this fact: in less than three weeks, this will all be over, and we’ll have a couple of years of breathing room before the ’12 election gets underway.

Thank God for small favors.

There, I said it. That’s off my chest.

It was a divine joke. Seven minutes into the first game of the season, Tom Brady goes down and so does any hope for the Patriots.

This is not to say that it’s all Brady’s fault. First, we don’t have a backup QB worth anything. Cassel just ain’t it. I mean, Romo goes down, and you get Brad Johnson, who’s got a championship ring on his finger. Brady goes down, and you get Cassel.

Somebody get on the phone to Drew Bledsoe, or something, for the love of God.

And there’s our defense. What defense? The Chargers cut through us like a hot knife through butter. Sure, with Brady at the helm, maybe we could have turned the thing into a shootout, but a team tha’ts letting up that many points on the field — something’s wrong.

It’s just depressing. Only one real question remains: Can the Patriots make the playoffs? Given the crappiness of the AFC East, the chances are actually fairly good. Although not if they played the way they did last Sunday.

Oh, and on one other note, if I have to hear about “Joe the Plumber” anymore, I am going to become “Kip the Foot-up-your-ass Guy”.

Sather Gate (at UC Berkeley) is being restored.

Word.

You fucking cowards. You cringing fucking cowards. You won’t pass a bill that is desperately needed because of election year politics.

A pox on both your houses.

Cowards.

I hate the bailout plan. You hate the bailout plan. We all hate the bailout plan. But we need the bailout plan.

Listen. For those of you who think this is something recent, think again. This thing has been in the offing since the 1970s. It began during the Carter administration. Suburban whites were getting more mortgages than urban blacks. So, under pressure from the lefties, we started slacking off on the strictness of mortgage lending.

We’ve been doing two things. We’ve been giving mortgages to people who can’t afford them, and we’ve been overvaluing properties. Which means, in some cases, people are taking out mortgages that are higher than the actual market value of the property.

What happens? You know what happens. People can’t pay their mortgages. In many cases, the mortgage, as I said, is more than the house is worth, so they simply just abandon the house and the bank that lent the property owner the money is stuck with a loss.

How does this translate into a financial meltdown? I’ll oversimplify. Banks lend money. A lot of the money they lend is in housing. Suddenly, the housing loans are going bad. This means the banks have less money to lend. More important, no matter how good a shape the bank is in, the bank doesn’t want to lend money. The market hates uncertainty. Hates it. Loathes it. So a bank may say, well, even though we have the money, we’re not going to lend it — it’s just not prudent right now. We’re going to wait.

This affects you very simply. Suddenly you need a hell of a lot of a better credit score to get any kind of loan. The banks themselves lend to themselves and the same happens there — they’re more reluctant to lend.

Here’s another oversimplification. Most Americans don’t have the money to buy a $20,000 car. So they take out a car loan and put a certain amount of money down. Five years ago, say, your credit score needed to be 650 to qualify for that loan. Now that the banks are reluctant to lend, let’s say it’s 720. That means a vast number of people can no longer buy that car.

And the auto company can’t sell the car. Their profits decline. They’re not making as much money. They have to cut corners. They have to lay people off. Same goes for small companies that operate with credit. They can’t get the small business loan anymore, so they can’t pay their employees.

It goes on like this, spiralling and spiralling and spiralling. Now. What’s Uncle Sugar going to do? Uncle Sugar is going to step in and say, listen, we will cover these bad mortgages. You don’t have to worry. They are not automatically bailing everybody out. They’re just saying, look, if worse comes to worse, we’ll buy that mortgage out from under you. You don’t have to worry.

You have certainty.

And, as I said, the one thing the market can’t stand is uncertainty.

I understand the urge to say, let ’em fail. Let ’em all fall apart. But the reason the government steps in in situations like these is to try to make sure a downturn in the economy, a medium-level recession or something, does not turn into a depression (now, do not confuse what we are going through with the Great Depression — the problem there was liquidity in the markets, not credit, although there are some similarities).

If the government did nothing, credit would freeze up. Money would not be moved around. You would ultimately suffer.

This is a vast oversimplification of what is going on, but I’m stating it anyway. The most obvious parts. There is no one person who understands how the market works. The market is a beast of its own. There are people who spend decades studying certain parts of the market, and understand those, but there is no one person who understands completely how the market works. It’s simply too vast and complicated. It’s been around too long. If you think you know how the market works, you don’t. Period. End paragraph.

I’m a conservative. I hate to see government solutions to private sector problems. But government does exist for a reason, and this is one of them. They will cushion the fall, and hopefully instead of crash-landing, we’ll just thud somewhat heavily onto the ground.

You should, however, stay pissed off. Just try to remember who you should be pissed off at. You should be pissed off at the liberals in the 1970s who insisted that mortgages be given to people who simply couldn’t afford the mortgages, and every person who followed that reasoning up until the present date.