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He peed on my rug!
“That’s right, Dude, they peed on your f–king rug.”
And that rug REALLY tied the room together.
Posted in humor, movies, NSFW, personal
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Professor Henry Higgins — Never Let a Woman in Your Life
You know, all my life, I’ve wanted to play Henry Higgins on stage. Seriously. *wink*.
Anyway, allow the good professor to explain why I am single. He puts it better than I ever could.
Posted in movies, personal, philosophy, rants
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Text of Rand Paul’s Speech on Immigration Reform
Paul delivered this today to the U.S. Hispanic Chamber of commerce. He’s quite geared up already for a run…now, my only comment here is, aye, Senator Paul, we need the conservatives on board, so I see putting border security first, but we also need the Latinos on board. You’re going to need at least 40% of the Hispanic vote if you make it to the general and you’re not going to get it by just throwing in lines in Spanish.
Anyway, here you go:
Por favor disculpen mi Espanol. Como creci en Houston -es un poco ‘espanglish y un poco Tex Mex.
I lived, worked, played and grew up alongside Latinos. As a teenager I worked alongside immigrants mowing lawns and putting in landscaping around businesses.
I remember once asking one of the immigrant workers how much he was being paid. “Cuanto le pagan por el trabajo? ”
He responded “tres dolars.” I responded, “Yo tambien. Tres Dolars, por hora . . . ?”
He shook shook his head, “No tres Dolars, por dia!”
At a young age, I came to understand that it makes a difference whether you are a documented immigrant or an undocumented immigrant, that the existence was not easy for the undocumented but that opportunity in America somehow trumped even the poor living conditions and low pay.
I wondered what circumstances must have been like in his country to choose an admittedly tough life in the shadows.
Growing up in Texas I never met a Latino who wasn’t working.
In school, everyone took Spanish. I sometimes wish I had paid more attention in class. As a teenager, I was not always the model citizen that I am today…
In my middle school Spanish class, my exuberance sometimes overcame my restraint and I would be asked to go to the principal’s office. My Spanish teacher would scold me, “En boca cerrada no entran moscas!”
Cuando no lo escuchaba, I would often be sent to the principal’s office.
In those days we had corporal punishment. After a few such trips to the principal’s office, I discovered that my Spanish teacher was married to the assistant principal and they were getting a divorce.
So when I was sent to the principal’s office, I would make the decision to go instead to the assistant principal’s office. He and I would commiserate: Oh man she’s crazy! You’re right kid, just sit here today and go back tomorrow.
As a consequence, I never became as proficient with my Spanish as I would have liked because I spent a great deal of time in detention.
I read Miguel de Unamuno in college. I think he gives Republicans some good advice,
He wrote, “Miremos más que somos padres de nuestro porvenir que no hijos de nuestro pasado”
Republicans need to become parents of a new future with Latino voters or we will need to resign ourselves to permanent minority status.
The Republican Party has insisted for years that we stand for freedom and family values. I am most proud of my party when it stands for both.
The vast majority of Latino voters agree with us on these issues but Republicans have pushed them away with harsh rhetoric over immigration.
Immigration is a contentious issue in American politics. In our zeal for border control, we have sometimes obscured our respect and admiration for immigrants and their contribution to America.
Republicans have been losing both the respect and votes of a group of people who already identify with our belief in family, faith, and conservative values. Hispanics should be a natural and sizable part of the Republican base.
That they have steadily drifted away from the GOP in each election says more about Republicans than it does about Hispanics.
Whether we are discussing hard work, respect for life or the quest for freedom, immigrants bring with them the same values that previous generations of immigrants did.
Defense of the unborn and defense of traditional marriage are Republican issues that should resonate with Latinos but have been obscured by the misperception that Republicans are hostile to immigrants.
Somewhere along the line Republicans have failed to understand and articulate that immigrants are an asset to America, not a liability.
My German great-grandparents didn’t speak much English when they came to America. They didn’t have much, but they also didn’t ask for much-all they wanted was an opportunity.
They began in America peddling vegetables. They finally got that opportunity when they started a dairy business in their garage, scraping together a living, raising a family, and constantly working to give their children a better life than they had.
My great-grandfather came to America in the 1880′s. His father died after only six months in America. At 14, my great-grandfather was alone.
He survived and ultimately thrived in his new country with a new language. In their home and their church they spoke German.
Republicans who criticize the use of two languages make a great mistake.
As the son of immigrants, my grandfather, who only had an 8th grade education, would live to see his own children all go to college. They became ministers, professors, doctors and accountants and one of them became a Congressman.
My family’s story is like that of millions of others who came to this country. Every generation of immigrants wants these opportunities.
Many have faced intolerance and bigotry. It was not always easy to be German American in the face of two world wars started by Germans. Intolerance is not new, and it is not limited to one language or skin color.
But through our rich history, and for many millions of immigrants who came to America, such sacrifice and hardship was worth it. They wanted what all Americans want-better lives for themselves, their children and grandchildren.
For the American Dream to be achievable for all, we have to have an educational system that believes that all students have the capability to succeed.
Unfortunately, the education establishment seems to casually discard Latinos, blacks, and others into crummy schools with no hope.
I argue that the struggle for a good education is the civil rights issue of our day.
I love the story of Jaime Escalante.
In the area of East Los Angeles, in 1982, in an environment that values a quick fix over education and learning, Escalante was a new math teacher at Garfield High School determined to change the system and challenge the students to a higher level of achievement.
Escalante was at first not well liked by students, receiving numerous taunts and threats.
As the year progressed, he was able to win over the attention of the students by implementing innovative teaching techniques.
He transformed even the most troublesome teens into dedicated students. While Escalante was teaching basic arithmetic and algebra, he realized that his students have far more potential.
He decided to teach them calculus. To do so, he held a summer course in pre-calculus.
Despite concerns and skepticism of other teachers, who felt that “you can’t teach logarithms to illiterates,” Escalante nonetheless developed a program in which his students can eventually take AP Calculus by their senior year.
Taking the AP Calculus exam in the spring of their senior year, his students were relieved and overjoyed to find that they have all passed, a feat done by few in the state.
My dream is that we transform the education monopoly into a thriving, competitive environment where Hispanic students get to choose what school they attend and that no student is forgotten or ignored.
America’s strength has always been that we are a melting pot with room for those who dare to dream. I’ve seen firsthand what it is like for new immigrants in Texas.
I’ve never met a new immigrant looking for a free lunch.
The question is: How do we now reflect this in our 21st century immigration policy?
It is absolutely vital for both the success of our immigration policy and for the purposes of national security that we finally secure our borders.
Not to stop most immigrants from coming-we welcome them and in fact should seek to increase legal immigration.
The Republican Party must embrace more legal immigration.
Unfortunately, like many of the major debates in Washington, immigration has become a stalemate-where both sides are imprisoned by their own rhetoric or attachment to sacred cows that prevent the possibility of a balanced solution.
Immigration Reform will not occur until Conservative Republicans, like myself, become part of the solution. I am here today to begin that conversation.
Let’s start that conversation by acknowledging we aren’t going to deport 12 million illegal immigrants.
If you wish to work, if you wish to live and work in America, then we will find a place for you.
In order to bring conservatives to this cause however, those who work for reform must understand that a real solution must ensure that our borders are secure.
But we also must treat those who are already here with understanding and compassion.
The first part of my plan – border security – must be certified by Border Patrol and an Investigator General and then voted on by Congress to ensure it has been accomplished.
This is what I call, Trust but Verify.
With this in place, I believe conservatives will accept what needs to come next, an issue that must be addressed: what becomes of the 12 million undocumented workers in the United States?
My plan is very simple and will include work visas for those who are here, who are willing to come forward and work.
A bipartisan panel would determine number of visas per year. High tech visas would also be expanded and have a priority. Special entrepreneurial visas would also be issued.
Fairness is key in any meaningful immigration reform, but this fairness would cut both ways:
The modernization of our visa system and border security would allow us to accurately track immigration.
It would also enable us to let more people in and allow us to admit we are not going to deport the millions of people who are currently here illegally.
This is where prudence, compassion and thrift all point us toward the same goal: bringing these workers out of the shadows and into being taxpaying members of society.
Imagine 12 million people who are already here coming out of the shadows to become new taxpayers.12 million more people assimilating into society. 12 million more people being productive contributors.
Conservatives, myself included, are wary of amnesty. My plan will not grant amnesty or move anyone to the front of the line.
But what we have now is de facto amnesty.
The solution doesn’t have to be amnesty or deportation-a middle ground might be called probation where those who came illegally become legal through a probationary period.
My plan will not impose a national ID card or mandatory E-Verify, forcing businesses to become policemen.
We should not be unfair to those who came to our country legally. Nor should we force business owners to become immigration inspectors-making them do the job the federal government has failed to do.
After an Inspector General has verified that the border is secure after year one, the report must come back and be approved by Congress.
In year two, we could begin expanding probationary work visas to immigrants who are willing to work. I would have Congress vote each year for five years whether to approve or not approve a report on whether or not we are securing the border.
We should be proud that so many want to come to America, that it is still seen as the land of opportunity.
Let’s make it a land of legal work, not black market jobs. Let’s make it a land of work not welfare. Our land should be one of assimilation, not hiding in the shadows.
On immigration, common sense and decency have been neglected for far too long. Let’s secure our borders, welcome our new neighbors, and practice the values of freedom and family for all to see.
Some say to generalize about any ethnic group is be a racist. There is a hilarious Seinfeld episode where Jerry admits that he loves Asian women but he frets and worries, “Is it racist to like a certain race?”
So it is with trepidation that I express my admiration for the romance of the Latin culture. I am a fan of Gabriel Garcia Marquez.
In Love in the Time of Cholera, Marquez gives some advice that Republicans might consider, “. . . human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, . . . life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves.”
Likewise, Republicans need to give birth to a new attitude toward immigrants, an attitude that sees immigrants as assets not liabilities.
No one captures the romance of the Latin culture more than Pablo Neruda.
I love how Neruda in “Si tu me Olvidas” issues a passionate threat but ends by saying,
“Pero
si cada día,
cada hora,
sientes que a mí estás destinada
con dulzura implacable,
si cada día sube
una flor a tus labios a buscarme,
ay amor mío, ay mía,
en mí todo ese fuego se repite,
en mí nada se apaga ni se olvida”
How can we not embrace such passion. How can we not want that culture to merge with and infuse the American spirit. They are not called the romance languages for no reason.
As we move forward on immigration reform, I for one will work to find a solution that both adheres to the rule of law and makes room for compassion.
My hope is that today we begin a dialogue between the GOP and Latinos.
A dialogue that shows that the GOP sees all immigrants as assets and that Latinos can come to see the GOP as the party of opportunity, the party of the American Dream, — El partido del sueňo Americano.
Posted in conservatrarian, current events, politics
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Tour and Fury
Alright, Obama administration, I have really had it with you people now. Nicely done on the White House tours for schoolkids thing. You utter pricks! I mean, how dare you do this? It is one of the most blatant, sickening, finger-wagging pieces of pandering crap I have seen in my life — and I’ve seen a lot. Your bluff got called on it, too — and now Carney has his panties in a wad over a couple of legit questions about money allocation?
Listen, you piles of human excrement, I know how the game works. I was down at Clinton’s inaugaration (his first one), brought down there under false pretenses for a program that never existed, in a school group, and to try to get us out of their skin they told us we could stay but that they would “probably” have to put us in army barracks.
Yeah, right. I arranged a conference call with a few people and an hour later we were staying in a four star hotel. The point is, you really think people are so stupid that they don’t realize that, say, if the sheikh of an oil rich country were to suddenly drop in and pay a visit, the White House wouldn’t open for a tour for him? You expect us to believe that?
All of this for a cut that doesn’t even bring us close to pre-Obama spending levels. You people have no shame. And that’s why your poll numbers are going down. Congrats, guys — you finally really overplayed your hand.
Posted in current events, politics, rants
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Sonnet 53
In shadows half the days of men are spent.
Across the world the dark remains the same;
For we are cursed, and blind, and lame;
The hard stone of real’ty will not relent.
This day surrounds us all; we are present
All souls bide their time, their sin, their shame
They seek to bend the law to grey acclaim.
Now what has all this sound and fury meant,
I’ve asked the powers that be — they have decreed
That time is too short for naught but the test
Of Fire, and only through that can one come
Close enough to the naked wanton need;
For there is the appeal, the fun, the zest
And so, my dear, my sonnet, in its sum.
© 2013 Christopher William Lange & Lange Associates, All Rights Reserved
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Hamlet Act 3, Scene 1 soliloquy (“To be or not to be”)
This is Brannagh doing the Act 3 Scene 1 “to be or not to be” soliloquy from Hamlet. There’s someone hidden behind the mirror, I think (it’s a two-way mirror). Brannagh is usually an unbelievable ham but he actually tones it down a little for this one, so it’s not that bad:
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Hell yeah, Rand Paul
Rand Paul’s speech at CPAC 2013:
Note, at17:02 — “Our party is encumbered by an inconsistent approach to freedom. The new GOP will need to embrace liberty in both the economic and the personal sphere. If we’re going to have a Republican party that can win, liberty needs to be the backbone of the GOP…millions of Americans, young and old, native and immigrant…simply seek to live free…to practice their religion, free to choose where their kids go to school, free to choose their own health care, free to keep their fruits of their labor, free to live without government constantly being on their back. I will stand for them.”
Posted in conservatrarian, current events, philosophy, politics
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Update on my mother’s cancer (renal papillary carcinoma)
Okay, just giving y’all a quick update on my mom. The official diagnose is “renal papillary carcinoma”; the tumor is about 2.6 cm big (that’s small; we’ve caught it at an early stage — good news). I’ve been looking at the survival rates 5 years out and things look pretty good. The one complication we’re running into right now is that they’d like to use cryo-ablation (freezing, minimally invasive surgery) to get rid of the tumor, but unfortunately, my mother’s spleen is “floppy” (damn floppy spleens, they’ll be the death of us all!), and it’s in the way. So they need to make a decision on whether they can do some cryo-ablation and some surgery, etc., how much, and so on, combined with targeted radiation, I believe. She has an appointment with her GP this Friday to start talking to the people involved in this, but also has a love affair with MGH and has been referring to CCH (Cape Cod Hospital) as “Podunk U” and saying things like, “You don’t take cancer to a bunch of idiots at Podunk U.!” (never mind that CCH is actually known at being better at cancer treatment than MGH, lol, that’s just my mom).
My task, at the moment, is to keep everybody focused on the next step, not worrying too much, and to keep everybody’s attitude right (positive). Because if we just get moving on this, we should be okay. *knocks on wood* So let me go make the rounds again and making sure everyone is watching sitcoms. 🙂
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Jeff Jacoby: Useful Idiots, then and now
The following is a repost of Jeff Jacoby’s column “Useful Idiots, then and now”, from the Boston Globe, March 13th, 2013. I do not own the rights to this article; it is being reposted purely for the promotional value of Mr. Jacoby and the Boston Globe. I am, in particular, reposting it because I think it is very important people read this. I’ll throw in one thing Jeff left out — in the 1930s, in SoHo, it was trendy among the hipsters of the time to wear Swastika earrings — yeah, you heard me, the hipsters, the “progressives”, where glorifying Nazism (remember that Hitler was Time Magazine’s “Man of the Year” while he was still fooling most of the useful idiots). Please read on:
Useful idiots, then and now
by Jeff Jacoby
The Boston Globe
March 13, 2013
ON THE 60th anniversary of Josef Stalin’s death last week, the Associated Press reported that admirers of the Soviet dictator, one of history’s bloodiest tyrants, were flocking to the Kremlin to venerate him as a great leader despite his ghastly record of repression. With polls showing a rise in Russians’ admiration and nostalgia for Stalin, observed AP, “experts and politicians puzzled and despaired over his enduring popularity.”
As many as 7 million Ukrainians were deliberately starved to death under Josef Stalin. That didn’t deter prominent Americans from hailing Stalinist rule as the “moral light at the top of the world.” |
That some Russians express approval for a despot who has been dead since 1953 is distressing, though perhaps not surprising given the ongoing campaign to burnish Stalin’s image by Russia’s autocratic president, Vladimir Putin. But even more of a reason for puzzlement and despair is the enthusiastic applause for Stalin by influential American liberals when he was at the height of his bloody reign — and the willingness of similar propagandists, naifs, and true believers today to sing the praises of other thugs and dictators.
In the 1930s, as millions were being murdered in Stalin’s terror-famine and Great Purge, Walter Duranty was assuring readers of The New York Times that the Soviet ruler was “giving the Russian people … what they really want, namely joint effort, communal effort.” The renowned literary critic Edmund Wilson extolled Stalinist Russia as the “moral light at the top of the world.” Upton Sinclair, who would later win a Pulitzer Prize for Fiction, vigorously defended the integrity of the “confessions” extracted by the secret police from many of Stalin’s victims: It “seems obvious,” Sinclair wrote, that they would not have “confessed to actions which they had not committed.”
The adulation of left-wing dictators and strongmen by Western intellectuals, journalists, and celebrities didn’t begin with Stalin (in 1921 Duranty had hailed Lenin for his “cool, far-sighted, reasoned sense of realities”), and it certainly didn’t end with him. Mona Charen chronicled the phenomenon in her superb 2003 book Useful Idiots, which recalls example after jaw-dropping example of American liberals defending, flattering, and excusing the crimes of one Communist ruler and regime after another. Fidel Castro, Ho Chi Minh, Mao Tse-tung, the Khmer Rouge, Leonid Brezhnev, Kim Il Sung, the Sandinistas: Over and over the pattern was repeated, from the dawn of the Bolshevik Revolution to the collapse of the Iron Curtain – and beyond.
And the useful idiocy lives on.
When Venezuela’s America-hating caudillo Hugo Chávez died last week, Human Rights Watch summarized his legacy starkly: “a dramatic concentration of power and open disregard for basic human rights guarantees.” Over his 14-year rule, Chávez succeeded in rewriting the constitution to abolish the Venezuelan Senate and repeal the one-term limit for presidents. He stifled judicial independence, cracked down on freedom of speech, and used his power to “intimidate, censor, and prosecute Venezuelans” who opposed his political agenda. Chávez cemented Venezuela’s alliance with Cuba – “the only country in Latin America that systematically represses virtually all forms of political dissent,” Human Rights Watch noted – and vocally backed dictators elsewhere, including Syria’s Bashar al-Assad and Libya’s Moammar Qaddafi.
Hugo Chavez, an America-hating megalomaniac, stifled human rights, jailed critics, vocally supported dictators, and ravaged Venezuela’s economy. But useful idiots in America gushed over him as a humanitarian and a moral hero. |
None of that troubled the ideologues who raced to praise the dead bully. Chávez “understood democracy and basic human desires for a dignified life,” gushed US Representative José Serrano of New York. Former President Jimmy Carter saluted his “commitment to improving the lives of millions of his fellow countrymen.” And former Massachusetts Congressman Joseph Kennedy II, a longtime Chavez booster, eulogizedChávez as a humanitarian who cared about the poor.
All this was preceded by Dennis Rodman’s return to the headlines, as the former basketball star traveled to North Korea, where the planet’s most ghastly regime presides over aStalinist hellhole in which hundreds of thousands of people are imprisoned in slave-labor camps. But Rodman, whose trip was financed by Vice Media, an American documentary production company, wasn’t there to see a human-rights nightmare. He came to watch some basketball, to hang out with the country’s new dictator, Kim Jong Un, and – in a country where starvation is a leading cause of death — to eat 10-course meals that participants described as “an epic feast.”
All in all, the trip’s organizer said, “they had a grand old time.” So much so, apparently, that before a crowd of thousands, Rodman assured Kim: “You have a friend for life.”
Indeed. It’s a shameful thing, but dictators like Kim always do.
(Jeff Jacoby is a columnist for The Boston Globe.)
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As many as 7 million Ukrainians were deliberately starved to death under Josef Stalin. That didn’t deter prominent Americans from hailing Stalinist rule as the “moral light at the top of the world.”
Hugo Chavez, an America-hating megalomaniac, stifled human rights, jailed critics, vocally supported dictators, and ravaged Venezuela’s economy. But useful idiots in America gushed over him as a humanitarian and a moral hero.