Don’t Declare War on Birds

I am actually not joking here, not in the least. Okay, well, I’m not stating mistruths. Maybe I find this a bit amusing, because the map below is actually accurate.

Australia apparently had an emu problem and launched “The Great War on Emus” in 1934 — and lost it, very badly (Limu! No!).

And in China, during “The Great Leap Forward” (1058-1962), the Chinese government tried war on birds as well with the “War on Sparrows”, part of the “Four Pests Campaign” — “Smash the Sparrows”. Once again, things did not work well; the “campaign” had absolutely horrible, devastating ecological consequences and was well lost.

So, I think we have two basic things to remember. The number one thing comes from the great John Cleese, and that is, simply — don’t mention the war. Number two, and only slightly below that in importance, is to not declare war on birds. You will lose. They’re dinosaurs. They’ve survived worse, trust me.