Roast in Hell, Hugo Chavez

Oh, man, what good news to wake up to (yeah, I keep weird hours):

(CNN) — A deeply divided Venezuela is mourning its late leader and preparing to pick a new president to replace him.

Venezuelan officials called for peace and unity after President Hugo Chavez’s death on Tuesday, emphasizing in state television broadcasts that all branches of the government and the military were standing together.

Full story here:
http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/05/world/americas/venezuela-chavez-main/index.html

Ding dong, the prick is dead!

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Missing 14 y.o. girl from Wareham, MA **UPDATE: GIRL IS FINE**

This is an earlier post regarding a missing girl from Wareham. Am taking her picture down because she has been found. Think the scare was a bit premature, but, came from a friend, so, etc. But below is a posting I found from a Wareham newspaper just now.

Hello,

Wareham Week does not publish stories about missing persons until we are able to confirm with police that an individual is indeed missing.

Wareham Police Lt. Kevin Walsh confirmed this morning that this young woman is safe, at a relative’s home in Florida.

Thank you,

Jaime

I am copying and pasting this from Facebook, FIND THIS GIRL NOW:

This is my beautiful 14 year old God Daughter Kelly Woiszwillo, she is 5’2” and about 100 lbs… she went missing from Wareham, MA on Sunday March 3… She is believed to be with a 37 year old black male, his identity is uncertain. Her cell phone was last pinged in North Carolina on March 4 before it could no longer be located. Her mom and family are frantic at this point. ANY information about this please contact your local authorities or the Wareham police station. You can also contact the Center for Missing and Exploited children at 1-800-843-5678. She may be in great danger.. if seen please contact your local authorities at least.. Thank you so much for your help. Please share on all social networks. The more its posted the more likely she can be found.

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My mother and the kidney tumor…

Er, my mother is going in today for the needle biopsy, for the tumor on her kidney. So if you could spare a moment to shoot up a prayer to the entity of your choice, or just shoot some good vibes her way…she’s very panicked. All the news we’ve gotten up to now has been nothing but positive, but she’s convinced she’ll have to go on chemo and lose her hair (she doesn’t care about dying; she does care about losing her hair — um, I know her priorities are a little messed up, but, all the same, if you have a spare moment?)

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SNL: “Prose and Cons” (aka KILL MY LANDLORD)

Sigh. You see, this is what Saturday Night Live used to be like. Someone call me when it’s this funny again.

Without further ado, I give you Eddie Murphy and the Not-Ready-For-Primetime-Players in one of their finest hours:

 

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The Desiderata

Here is The Desiderata if you have never read it.

Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its shams, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy

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Five years without WFB, Jr.

Today marks the fifth anniversary of the passing of one of my personal heroes (and the founder of modern conservatism), William F. Buckley, Jr. Feel free to join me in a moment of silence.

Bill Buckley, where have you gone? Guide our hand…

I’ve posted this before, but, here’s some red meat for you. Buckley verbally pimpslaps Gore Vidal.  “…and you’ll STAY plastered…”

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Don’t Look Back in Anger (Belushi, Saturday Night Live)

I’ll outlive you all. Why? Because I’m a dancer.

Yes, I am quite aware of the irony, but I don’t care. One of the best SNL skits ever.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/hl-50004053/saturday_night_live_dont_look_back_in_anger_season_3/

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‘Til things are brighter…

…I’m the Man in Black.

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The Conservatrarian Election Process

The Conservatrarian Election Cycle Process

-Last election is over. Pissed off. When will they ever understand? What the hell is wrong with them? Refuse to speak to liberal friends. Sulk. Read lots of P.J. O’Rourke.
-Can’t win ‘em all. Rebuild bridges with liberal friends, regain sense of humor, read more P.J.
-Forget about politics altogether because there’s a new videogame out.
-Wet your finger, stick it in the air, see if the wind is blowing the way of a third party. Nope. Nope. Still nope.
-Gradually begin to engage in politics more. Intensive readings of US Constitution, Federalist papers, writings of Jefferson.
-Watch the field take shape; get pissed off our candidates are all so weak.
-Briefly consider voting Ron Paul until you realize you haven’t gone totally insane YET.
-Watch recaps of the primary debates, start drinking more coffee and pacing.
-Conservative dark horse emerges; temporary excitement ensues.
-“Whoops!”
-Primary comes along. Protest vote for Candidate X because the rest of them are a bunch of stinking moderates.
-Moderate wins primary, has moved extremely far to the right during the process.
-You begin defending the moderate to the liberals, explaining realpolitik to them, and that s/he isn’t as conservative as MSNBC is saying.
-Give up and simply explain that MSNBC is run by the insane.
-Now defend moderate to conservatives who think s/he isn’t conservative enough.
-Line up like a good solider. Pump the candidate, because s/he’s the best we’re going to get.
-Vote.
-S/he loses because s/he was a moderate.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

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Words, words, words.

Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2, Soliloquy (Brannagh, 1996)

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