Giving a pill to a cat

Yes, you saw the title right. I’m just throwing this out there because I’ve been having to give my cat an antibiotic for a bit (he got in a tussle with something that bit him in the shoulder and gave him an abcess) and it’s a real bitch to do this if you don’t know how.

First, forget “Pill Pockets”, if your vet recommends them. They’re cat treats with pockets to put the pill in. Like your cat is going to fall for that, right? It worked twice with my cat and that was it (even when I coated them with fresh catnip). Sucker knew the pill was there and didn’t want it.

So here’s what you do. Get the pill ready between the thumb and forefinger of whichever hand you’re going to use to toss the pill down him. Then, get the damned cat. Be stealthy. They know what’s coming. Take the cat to a step, if you can find one (it makes it easier for you). Now, put the cat over one leg like you would a child you were going to spank, and hold it sort of like a running back with a football. Put your (for me) left hand gently under his throat towards the front and get him to tilt his head back. He’ll slide backwards. Don’t worry. Just keep holding him like a football so he can’t get away. Now’s the tricky part. Get your right hand (I’m guessing this is where you have the pill) and use your available fingers to grab at his jaw where it hinges, gently. Keep pressing there and so on and eventually the cat (I said eventually) will open his mouth. Chuck the pill down there right away and try to clamp his mouth shut. Watch to see if he swallows. No swallow, and he’s going to be spitting that pill out. Even if the little bastard DOES swallow, wait for him to swallow again, you can rub his throat if you want, and then FOLLOW the damn cat because sometimes they keep it under their tongues and don’t swallow it.

Still takes me a couple of tries.

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