The Advocates (ouch)

This is the show my dad pitched successfully to WGBH. This was all him. His show. He’s in a few episodes; I can’t find one with him (but I haven’t watched this one all the way through, it’s just…hard, okay?). He was the creator of it. You won’t see him in the credits, even, I think.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you…things from the mind of my father when he was young. Twenty-seven, in fact.

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A Quick Joke

Okay, this was one of my father’s favorites, but it’s all in the delivery.

Abraham Lincoln is writing the Gettysburg address. He thinks it out, sits down, puts pen to paper, and writes it. However, he needs to read it out loud first, since it’s a speech, to see how it sounds. So he reads it in front of his wife.

Mary Todd Lincoln says, “It’s great, Abraham, but why don’t you just say ‘eighty years’ instead of ‘four-score’?”

And Abraham Lincoln says: “Why don’t *YOU*…shut the FUCK UP!”

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It’s Showtime

It’s showtime!

It’s…showtime. <sigh>

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Dear Stan, Kyle, Blame the Whites, and you little Star-Trek-interrupting weirdo…

Just, since I put it up — this won’t make sense to many people, since despite what most people think of me, I can actually keep my mouth shut — I want to apologize. I didn’t understand the industry. I didn’t understand the nature of a break. I was also blackmailed back East by my damned parents (only child, etc). I am sorry to have left you saddled with…Breayle, was it?…because I have a hunch the plan for her was different than for me.

Keep up the good work. I’m here if you need me. Just ask. And put those edits up on the cannabis site — they’re good, even if I did do them all high as a kite.

Salut.

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Hasa Diga Eebowai

Alright, alright, The Mormons Have Landed, I will put it up one time. I don’t like doing it because it reminds me I blew my chance to work with real talent that actually makes a difference in the world and helps heal.

My house burned down with no insurance
Hasa diga ebowaii
Both my parents were cremated in a furnace
Hasa diga ebowaii
I’m such an idiot I missed the chance
Hasa diga ebowaii
To be there when they choreographed this dance…
Hasa diga ebowaii

FUCK YOU IN THE OTHER EYE

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Ricky Gervais: Little Hampstead C***

I’m sorry, but I feel this way about everyone who grew up in Wellesley, myself included. Wellesley has a higher per capita income than Beverly Hills. I have tried, over the years, at least, to get the little Wellesley cunt out of myself, but don’t know if I’ve succeeded at all. All I can say is, I agree: No, I never did, and that’s why you’re never going to be born.

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Blue Velvet Redux: In Dreams I Walk With You

Dean Stockwell was a truly great talent.

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HEY!

Does anybody need any goddamned writing done?

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Inigo Montoya in THE PRINCESS BRIDE

Offer me money. Power, too, promise me that. Offer me everything I ask for…

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DARK CITY Memories Scene

This was one of my late father’s favorite movies, if not his absolute favorite. It is a criminally underrated and underappreciated film. DARK CITY, Watch it.

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