I’m posting this for all the Family Guy viewers who watched “The Splendid Source” last night and are wondering what the hell the punchline to the dirty joke Quagmire tells is from.
The joke goes:
A bride-to-be is stressing out over the fact that she’s not a virgin, but she’s told her future husband she is. She has no idea what to do and is talking to her friends about it, when one of the friends pipes up and says, “Here’s what you do — buy some liver, stick it up there, and everything will be nice and tight and your husband will never know.”
So, the bride-to-be follows the advice, and on the wedding night, the newlywed couple has crazy sex all over the place. On the kitchen counter, on the living room floor, all over the house. But when she wakes up in the morning, her new husband is gone, and all she finds is a note pinned to the pillow, which reads:
“Dearest, I’m sorry, but I’ve thought things over and I just don’t think things will work out between us. I had a wonderful time, but I’m sorry, I’ve thought about it, and we just weren’t meant to be. P.S. — Your vagina is in the sink.”
Note: I know the joke in the movie starts with “A guy walks into a bar”, but this is the original joke. It’s an alteration. The alteration is: “A guy walks into a bar, meets this amazing woman, falls in love with her straight away. She falls madly in love with him, too. She’s so in love with him that she lies to him and tells him she’s a virgin just to make him want her more.” …and then the rest goes from there.
Kip you’re a savage, thanks a bunch!! I wanted to know this for quite some time
I don’t understand it
He thinks the liver that she stuffed in her vagina *is* her vagina and he screwed her so hard it fell out. 🙂 Clear it up…?
Your an idiot
I.E. the guy is was a virgin.
omg i love you man hahahah
Thank you kip!!!! I’ve been watching nothing but family guy for 7 years straight and ever since this episode came about I’ve been dying to know this joke. You’re a life saver 😉 thank you so very much this is hilarious!!!!
Hehehe, not a problem. The only problem I ran into here was people who *still didn’t get the joke* (if you look at the other comments).
Peter Griffin actually finally tells the joke:
Yes lol i just seen this like 10 min ago. So i searched up the original joke lol
That clip was great love it i watched it 5 times.
Wtf that joke isn’t even funny
It was funny if you have seen the episode and get family guy humor,
Cheers Kip for the joke
Happy to oblige!
omg f*ck,i was reading the joke and i pooped my pants -_-
Omg after all these years i wanted to know what that meant thank you. Btw where did u find out the joke “the dirty joke writing place on the secrate island”😆
I wish, lol. No, it was so very intensive Googling at the time. I can’t remember the phrase I used to get at it anymore, but it just took some time-consuming digging on the Internet, especially around dirty joke sites. 🙂
Shhhh. I barely escaped with my life.
Where did the original joke come from? I’m dying to know. The version Family Guy told was dumbed down.
I don’t know exactly where it originated, but I found it after I watched the episode — I probably spent about an hour googling different variations and finally came across the joke on a dirty joke website that I now forget.
A version of this joke is on Curb Your Enthusiasm. https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/2bs4ec/my_favorite_joke_ever_my_favorite_moment_in_tv/
What a waste. That wasn’t funny.
You know, believe it or not, I don’t find the joke funny myself, either. I put up the post because I hate orphaned punch lines and I had heard it somewhere before so knew the orphaned punchline wasn’t just made up gibberish. The funny thing is, I’ve told it a few times, and other people think it is *hilarious*, at least, at lot of them do. I actually don’t think I even laughed when I first heard it. Anyway, you’re not alone. Then again, I have heard much worse. I’m also not one for dirty jokes, either (though if anyone wants to run their version of The Aristocrats by me, feel free).
Im watching exatly this episode and wondered if an Internetguru knows this joke ^^
TBH i expected more but ok ….
What is the moral of the joke? he thinks that he screwed her so hard it fell out? or that he’s a virgin himself?
That he banged her so hard it fell out.