Praise the Lord, football is returning

I thought it would never happen. I thought we’d actually have to spend time paying even an iota of attention on Landis and the Tour de France, or, worse, on soccer, which is simply, absolutely, the bottom rung of the entire sports ladder. What the hell, with soccer? I tried watching a game. At least in hockey, there are a lot of shots on goal, for Christ’s sake! This was just dribbling back and forth across the center line for like five hours and then someone FINALLY shoots but…never mind, I don’t have to entertain the nightmare that the unenlightened rest of the world creams over.

Because football is back. Oh, following the training camps has been fun, but tonight…oh yes, tonight there was a game. Okay, so it’s a pre-season game and the starters were in for approximately fifteen seconds. But it’s still a game! I’m almost ready to jump into the fantasy season, too. Been holding off on doing that with NS because we want to make sure we don’t get a Javon Walker situation on our hands.

So, Euro-fag soccer-watching, Umbro-wearing jackasses — thppppthhh. Football is back and football is possibly the most important thing on the planet.

Now I can spend the next week worrying over Tedy Bruschi’s wrist.

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