I can see some of you, sitting there, saying to yourselves, “Hey, Kip, what the hell do you do for fun, besides fiddling with gadgets?”
I’ll tell you what I do. First I strip down to my underwear. Then I take a searching inventory of monkeys. Next, I bow down to a giant poster that looks like this:
I then rush to my computer, type
After this, I go to a nearby mirror, and repeat, “Nancy Pelosi wears a thong!” eight times, while holding back the urge to vomit (as many of you may know, Nancy Pelosi has caused me to projectile vomit several times; this is indeed a great problem and has led to me blocking C-SPAN on my TV).
Then I concentrate very hard, turn around, look over my left shoulder in the mirror, and wait very carefully for the face of Rudy Giuliani to materialize.