Feelin’ Fine for ’09

I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy — real, actual, heartfelt sympathy — from some of my liberal friends over the state the election is in.

I don’t need it. I don’t care.

First, let me preface this by saying we have two weeks to go and two weeks in politics is a lifetime. So Barack shouldn’t be measuring the drapes quite yet.

But, mostly, I just want the election over. Over. It’s times like these when I wish we had a parliamentary system and this whole thing could be done within two weeks, instead of having to suffer through virtually two years of this crap.

Anyway, here’s the thing. The Republicans are idiots. Yes, I just said that. The Democrats are idiots, fools, and dangerous, but the Republicans are idiots. And a loss for them in November can do two things.

First, in the wilderness years, they can ponder what went wrong, and stage a comeback. Remember Bill Clinton getting elected? Remember how it led to a complete takeover of Congress by Republicans two years later? That could easily happen. I doubt Obama is going to keep that coveted “supermajority” for very long. It just doesn’t work like that.

Second, the Republicans can realize why things went wrong, and that is because they strayed from their conservative roots. The base was pissed off during the primaries, and the base had every right to be pissed off. We were given a bunch of moderate bumblers who all tried to make the case they were Reagan. None of them are Reagan. Reagan was dubbed “too conservative” to win in 1980. Nobody is ever going to accuse this bunch of jerks of that.

There’s actually a third reason I’m not so upset. If Obama wins, I get the chance to blame him for everything for the next 4-8 years. Playing defense for the eternally-defensive Bush camp has been a pain in the ass. It’s much easier to on the offense and blame everything on Obama. And I mean everything. After what the libs have blamed Bush for (“My damn car won’t start — fucking Bush!”), I’m not going to pull any punches if Obama is elected. I’m going to blame him for everything. Especially the inevitable failure of his own agenda, which I don’t even support.

But let us conservatives hope that if Mr. Obama wins this election, that in our “wilderness” years, we take some serious time for introspection. We remember that we’re not supposed to be the party who spends like there’s no tomorrow.

The expectations for Obama are so high that there’s no possible way he can live up to them if he’s elected. So fine, elect him.

My computer had some problems this morning. Fuckin‘ Obama.

Muhahahaha.

Either way, let us take solace in this fact: in less than three weeks, this will all be over, and we’ll have a couple of years of breathing room before the ’12 election gets underway.

Thank God for small favors.

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