This country loves watching a train wreck, and there’s no bigger train wreck right now than Charlie Sheen. So, against my better judgment, I am posting a transcript of an interview he did on the Alex Jones radio show recently. Here you go.
Alex Jones: You don’t ever wanna go there, you don’t ever wanna defend yourself, but you’ve told me privately most of the stuff, names, it’s not true, but what is going on with the women in your life?
Charlie Sheen: The goddesses? Alex the goddesses, let me just say this about the goddesses, I don’t believe the term is good enough, but when you’re bound by these terrestrial descriptions, you must use the best choice available, right?
Alex Jones: Yes
Charlie Sheen: So if you think about it, dude, it’s like I’m 0 for 3 with marriage, with never an excuse, but like in baseball, the scoreboard doesn’t lie, never has. So what we all have is a marriage of the heart. To sully or contaminate or radically disrespect this union with a shameful contract is something that I will leave to the amateurs and the Bible grippers.
And I just gotta add this cos there was a whole firestorm yesterday about Brooke been a part of our crew and let me just say this, this is all I’m gonna say about it, where there were four, there are now three. Goodbye Brooke good luck in your travels, you’re going to need it, badly.
Alex Jones: So Brooke did go along with you but she’s not there now?
Charlie Sheen: No she’s not there now and we are and, I don’t know, winning, anyone? Rhymes with winning, anyone? That’ll be us. Man, didn’t make the rules. Ooops.
Alex Jones: Charlie, I’ve known you for six and a half years or so and I knew you when you were completely clean and I’ve known you since, but, the point is, now, I’ve never seen you when I was out at your house or talked to you on the phone, so energised as you are now – I mean you’re on fire as nails told the news yesterday. I mean I agree with that description.
Charlie Sheen: As I think it was nails that said, and I’m really really flattered, cos he got it right. I mean he might be nails, but I’m frikin bayonets, you know. I’m battle tested man. I’m tired, I’m so tired of pretending like my life isn’t perfect and bitchin and just winning every second and I’m not perfect and bitchin and just deliverying the goods at every frikin turn, because, look what I’m dealing with man, I’m dealing with fools and trolls, dealing with soft targets and its just, you know its just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee because I don’t have time for these clowns. I don’t have time for their judgement and their stupidity and you know they lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and look at their loser lives and then they look at me and they say “I can’t process it” well no you never will stop trying, just sit back and enjoy the show. You know?
Alex Jones: Wow, well I am speechless. Later we’re going to get into Apocalpse Now, but what comes to mind is when we were there a few weeks ago watching it in your home theatre when Colonel Kurtz is saying “You can kill me, but you don’t have the right to judge me”
Charlie Sheen: Boom, that’s the whole movie, that’s life. That’s life, there’s nobility in that, there’s focus, it’s genuine, it’s crystal and it’s pure and its available to everybody. So just shut your traps and put down your McDonald’s, your magazines, your TMZ and the rest of it and focus on something that matters. But you can’t focus on things that matter if all you’ve been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know. Anyway. We’re getting off topic. We don’t care anymore Alex, we don’t care. Let’s get to the work business because there’s been a lot of speculation, a lot of rumours. Imagine that with the media.
Alex Jones: Well sure, let’s go over that, because when I was there, two weeks ago at your house, you looked great, totally clean, you were working out super hard when I went and worked out with you at that private gym I mean they put you through an incredible workout, you know they’re exercising in the pool, and you’re saying “look, I’m ready to go to work. I’m ready to go right now” and then they add the lie that you don’t have a hernia, well I’ve seen your hernia, I’ve go thte same hernia in my belly button and your hernia was hurt, but again you don’t wanna defend yourself on that and, you know, tell folks the truth about it, but the point is, it seem that there are some people in your life that are trying to demonise you, they’re doing these vanity cards, you know talking about how they’re going to outlive you, it seems pretty darn aggressive.
Charlie Sheen: Yeah I didn’t care about that vanity card. In fact I went right straight home with that one and just dispelled that. And that was actually, you know, one of the few compliments that clown has paid me in freakin almost a decade. But I’m excited to get back to work and not to completely discount what you just talked about, if you bring up these turds, these little [inaudible] losers, there’s no reason to then, you know, bring them back into the fold because I have real fans, they have nothing. They have zero. They have that night and I will forget about them as my last image of them exits my beautiful home. and they will get out there and they will sell me and they will lose. And they will lose the rest of their lives as they think about me and my life the rest of their lives, so, bring me a challenge somebody, becuase, you know, it just ain’t there. Winning.
Alex Jones: But you’re ready to go to work, right now?
Charlie Sheen: Well yeah but I’m tired of being told “well you can’t talk about that and you can’t talk about that” BULL S-H-I-T. Let me just say this, there’s nothing. I just think it’s deplorable that a certain Heim Levine, that’s Chuck’s real name by the way, mistook this rock star for his own selfish exit strategy bro. Check it Alex, I embarassed him in front of his children and the world by healing at a pace that his uninvolved mind cannot process. Ok last I checked Heim, I’ve spent, I think, I don’t know, the last decade effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into gold and the gratitude I get is this charlatan chose not to do his job, which is to write. Clearly someone who believes he is above the law. Well, you’ve been warned dude. Bring it.
Alex Jones: Charlie, Everybody that I know that knows you, and I know you well, talks about how, behind the scenes, you give incredible amounts of money to charity, you help people, you give things to everybody, you go out and help firemen and schoolchidren, you are genuinely a nice guy. But you always just let people attack you and lie and the years I’ve known you and the years that people who’ve known you for decades, they say, Charlie is on fire and when he came out of what he’s been in the last seven months, he is not putting up with people trying to push him around anymore, is that fair to say?
Charlie Sheen: It’s yeah, it’s an understatement, you know it’s, I’m sorry man I got magic and I got poetry at my fingertips most of the time and this includes naps. I’m an F-18 and I will destroy you in the air and I will deploy my ordnance to the ground.
Provided by: The Global Herald